Beginning My Life Again: My Teenhood & Early Twenties Managing an Undiagnosed Chronic Condition

As if delving through the mud of teenhood and grasping into my adulthood was not tough enough, I’ve spent it at war with my body. 

I’m now 23 and only as of the end of January this year, I was FINALLY diagnosed with a chronic stomach condition, Bile Acid Malabsorption (yeah I never heard of it either aha). It’s a strange thing to be delighted about, diagnosed with something that I'll have to manage with throughout my whole life, ensuring I take my tablets and watch my fat intake on a daily basis, but after spending 11 years with a huge question mark over the daily pain, I was thrilled to finally get an answer. 

It mainly all started going downhill when I reached year 9, I recall going to the doctors and describing the pain as ‘my stomach feels like it's been hit with a football’, and the discomfort and other symptoms were becoming daily. My absence at school deteriorated and no matter what I ate or did, it would not shift. I felt stupid, trying to have an embarrassing conversation with teachers about why I wasn’t present.

 As a teen, having constant gut symptoms was something I kept secret, on the surface I may have looked fine but inside it was a vicious cycle of symptoms impacting intense anxiety that just spiralled into each other. The symptoms, now I know are signals of BAM, are worse at night and the lack of sleep just worsened my ability to continue as normal. I declined plans, made excuses, missed opportunities and made my life smaller and smaller. It was a battle between my health and experiencing being an ‘average’ teen. Thankfully, I went through school with a tight group, who stuck by my side throughout, and even still today, it impacted them too, juggling and dealing with my last-minute cancellations. 

Throughout the past 11 years I was at the doctors regularly, tiring to get someone to listen and understand and not just wave their hand and say ‘its just IBS’, at first I agreed, went to NHS IBS workshops and got every bit of advice possible of how to manage IBS, including the dreaded low-fodmap diet – a real experience of hell on earth, think fussy eater times by a billion. Yet still, the symptoms persisted and so did I with the GP. 

I think we went through most intolerances, including celiac, and even looked at Crohns and Colitis- each time blood tests came back normal, so it was all dismissed. Even trying antidepressants to see the link between anxiety and IBS, guess what? No difference, if anything it made be inhabit the ability to be able to sleep anywhere at any time. Not helpful. 

I made appointments just to plead for more testing and advice, I recall one instance where the doctor said ‘IBS is very manageable, just try looking at different cuisines and see if they help’, this was in response of me listing the extensive list of every diet, medication, supplements and self-help methods I’ve tried and were unsuccessful. Everything I ate, gluten free or not, impacted my body again and again. There was no determination to help my life restricting symptoms that I’d been experiencing for 7 years at that point, and a wealthy medical record that supported concerns that this isn’t IBS. 

I changed doctors when I moved house in 2024, and due to being in a full time job, my symptoms were incredibly worse and I became exhausted from this multidimensional battle between living out my younger years, my crippling health, anxiety, and GP’s. At this point my missed youth was catching up with me, and I hit a breaking point- I could no longer live my life like this anymore. I had this feeling repeatedly over the 11 years, but this time with me entering my early 20’s, I knew I could not go on living this same routine of pain and mystery. If I told you the list of things I missed because of this, you would be fuming too (one was Taylor Swift's Era’s tour…. Yep). Not to mention the frustrating and sometimes detrimental effect it had on my work life, I got to know HR very well in most of my places of work. 

My first appointment at my new GP surgery was refreshing, they stopped focusing on IBS and agreed, it’s been long enough without suitable action and was confused as to why more testing hadn’t been done already. ME TOO GIRL! You can understand my eye roll when reflecting on me requesting this multiple times to previous doctors. The doctor informed me of the condition, bile acid malabsorption (often known as BAM), something which has only in recent years been accepted to not just be present after having a gallbladder removal and thought to be misdiagnosed with IBS. Bingo!

Whilst awaiting seeing the gastroenterology department again, I was prescribed bile acid binders to see if they help…. they did!! Then following my first gastro consultation, December 2025 I had a colonoscopy (dignity has been lost since), followed by the SeCHAT scan, which diagnoses the BAM by taking a small radiation tablet (I did imagine turning as bright as Veronica Salt) and having a scans a week apart, to measure the amount of bile acid left in my body – which determined in a weeks period I only had 6% of bile acid, of a normal 15%, left in my body. 

Bile acid malabsorption is basically  your digestive system failing to work normally,  and therefore causes multiple, uncomfortable and painful symptoms, which occur all the time and often have even worse flare ups too. 

Now it all makes sense.

I’m now on tablet form of bile acid binders, which I must take before my lunch and tea, each day to maintain a normal stomach, whilst keeping a low-fat diet. I’m now also religious about my supplement routine, to ensure my chances of being heavily vitamin deficient, which are a side effect of taking acid binder, are low. Me and my medication organiser against the world! 

BAM is classified as a chronic condition, as it can be managed but not cured, if I miss a dose of my binders my symptoms rapidly revisit. It's also protected by the Equality Act of 2010. 

Now at the age of 23, my life is beginning again. My physical health is stable, and my mental health has improved greatly, I no longer feel the need to lock myself away and deal with these symptoms alone. I’m immensely proud I didn’t give up, I ensured to advocate for myself and my health, even when I could read the GP’s mind that they thought I was just an overdramatic girl. 

It felt symbolic to be open and honest about my hidden disability, as we come into spring, my favourite time of year where nature begins again, and I am too. 

I can now be my fully present, enthusiastic, fun and spontaneous self, that’s always had a real lust for the enjoyment of life, unrestricted and unapologetic. Sorry if this is sounding cringe… wait no, I’m not ;)

 Please do push for further investigations if you believe there is something not right about a diagnosis or ongoing symptoms. As BAM is pretty unheard of, I’ll leave some links below for you to look at, and if any symptoms match, please go and get referred, you don’t have to suffer in silence and Imodium.

Always trust your gut, albeit with caution aha!

Life with BAM 

Brb rebuilding my life and reliving my youth- till next time chicks, Jessie Bellamy x