Everything I learned During Summer

Summer. 

Personally, it is not my favourite season of the year, for many reasons. It all seems to be sea, sun, sand and don't forget the cheeky cocktails. Which it is and for a lot of working class people, only is gifted to them for two or three weeks a year if you are lucky. 

As I have grown older into my twenties I have started to learn to somewhat like it. We won’t say love yet (might have to give it another ten years). The main reason I have come to enjoy it more is because I am going to encounter it every year. Which equals to three months of going to waste hating the weather and all the goodness summer really blesses us with. 

The first lesson which is still a work in progress is body confidence. Everyone suffers with body confidence in one way or another and if you don’t go you!  Body confidence is the first alarm for a lot of women. Our brain realises hot weather means less layers and less layers means shorts, dresses, skirts and crop tops. Which to some people is some people's worst nightmare.  Reminding myself in particular of all the times I didn't go to the gym, didn't try that new diet or all the times I ate out. Why do we do this? Why do we live in regret when the sun comes out and have fun trying that new burger place, celebrating that new job or your friends birthday? When you sit back and think you don't actually regret any of those decisions, because you created memories and you were happy. So why beat yourself up?

That's all we've known is to be annoyed at ourselves for what we eat or drink because why should you be happy and do both. It's a toxic cycle many people fight, some worse than others. 

Having time to think it over I've thought it's okay to regret maybe not doing that exercise that I wanted to do. What matters is wearing stuff that makes me feel good and I like and not force myself to fit into some shorts just because the sun decided to come out for a change in the UK. I have my days where I wish I could wear the odd thing that's in my head that I don't think I can but in reality it's about the memories we make in the sun. Not if our stretch marks peek through out of our dress. Every year we all battle the same anxiety of a new season of sun but if we all are kind to our minds and others it might just make it a little easier than usual. This lesson from summer hasn't cured my body dysmorphia but telling myself these things and seeing more people saying it helps me believe it too.

My second lesson is being at peace. Coming home from university it went from a hundred to zero really quick. It was hard to settle and I couldn't do anything without thinking about another thousand things I should be doing, people I should be seeing, the list goes on. For some reason I kept putting pressure on myself to be busy when it's summer break? It's a time to have fun and do whatever I like! But most of all to unwind and chill out. I didn't realise how much of a break I really needed to only focus on doing nothing. To dive into hobbies I used to love to do in my spare time that got lost along the way. 

Going back to the idea of 'being at peace' for myself it has been reading lots, painting and back to creating content for this magazine and YouTube. A sense of purpose some would say Jumping back into these things has put me back into a good headspace. There is so much satisfaction that comes with finishing that book and creating that content I am passionate about. Finding things, even the small things, that make our heart full create peace in your own space.

My third lesson is social media. Social media can be a love-hate relationship for a lot of people. Some days I have wanted to post loads of photos then next I want to delete everything where everyone knows nothing about me. In this generation everyone feels like we are obliged to share everything and make our interests known to fit in. I think using my phone and social media together, I have tried to stop having it stuck to my hand like it's a part of me.

For numerous reasons, first it's not real, nothing on there is real, second I don't want to waste my time on it and third most of the time if I am not talking to my friends I don't feel great afterwards.

Social media has given expectations as to what summer should look like but really summer is whatever you want it to be, why put pressure on your life to look fun, if really it doesn't feel like it. The best moments are not behind a camera or uploaded to Instagram. I used it to contact important people and not fall into the trap that I have in the past of creating a life there that isn't a hundred per cent true. More so because it doesn't benefit me as much as it benefits you.

My fourth and final lesson is family and friends. One of the most important ones. Coming home after being away for so long makes you realise a lot. Who matters, made the effort and who you miss. The important people in your life that have an impact whether it be little or large. It's those day trips, chit chats with a cup of tea and next voice notes saying they can't wait to see you. These things mean the most. Being so far away opens your eyes up to who is waiting for you at the other end and has made me grateful to have people like that in my life.