Is the Males Role Vintage

Within this day and age male and female roles mean different things. In particular in romantic relationships. 

As women we are able to be single more freely and not depend on a man which is fabulous, go us! But the other side to this is with men knowing that they can become lazy. Meaning we now get picked up in cars instead of wine and dined and a text in the middle of night instead of a card of how proud they are of you. It is too easy of a cop out to avoid effort or doing something a little nice. This is all the help of modern dating and technology, thanks for ruining the small loves we never knew we needed.  

We don't like stereotypes they can be restricting but it leads to the question of the male role being vintage and if it exists anymore. Before women couldn't be in charge of their own choices, go to work, choose if they want children and most of all pay bills. 

Ever dated a man and he said one of these things:

“I don't do cards.”

“You decide.”

“Why can’t you carry that?”

“I don't do valentines.”

The list could go on and I wish you could all comment your best excuses as I call them. 

Now if your boyfriend or past lovers have said these things I am not saying they love you any less or it's not meant to be blah blah blah. But girl does your heart not sink a little when you just sometimes want to be thought of a little extra or receive acts of love. Romantics want this and guess what decades ago this was the case. 

Some of us women want to be looked after, in the modern world it is hard out there. I want that gentle, kind and warm love. As much as I am putting in, I want out of it too. 

In the past decades there were a lot of toxic parts to dating and being levelled with men. We can now say we have a voice, a choice and most of all places to get help as women. Moving on, dating was different back then as we were looked at as the prize and you can say modern dating has too much exposure to what's out there. A man can have the entire world next to him but still scroll and see what ifs. Have you watched dating shows recently? They are constantly moving to the next girl to see if it's better to only go back to the start, ew. 

Remember boys the grass is greener, where you water it…

With being the prize came competition and value. Competition means opening doors, carrying our bags, creating plans and no kiss on the first date. Basic manners some would say or being a gentleman. No man would want to get out of line back then to risk losing you, nowadays it is too easy to see a message and carry on with your day. 

The value of being in love or in a relationship can be rare. How my grandparents and even my own parents perceive love differs a lot compared to who I have dated in the past. I felt I was picky and expected too much but actually it was the bare minimum and wanted to have a fulfilling relationship.  I saw what they had and expected it. It was what I thought was normal and it made me feel safe and happy. 

Little did I know after years of not being interested in the slightest in men or dating, just happy to focus on friendships and work, I found one. I was just as shocked as the next person. I was cautious and a nightmare at the start because the fundamentals to a relationship that I spoke about above matter. Even if it wasn't a priority to them it was to me and I can’t lie I wanted that 80’s romance. Ps, I still do!

All said and done this is a little reminder that if you feel that you seek, don't accept less because there is someone who will align with you. Don't waste time battling conversations about why you just want your partner to be in control, take the reins and celebrate any wins all the way. We all have different love languages and it is all about finding a way to communicate between them despite not communicating the same one.