Jessie’s Book review: So Thrilled for You by Holly Bourne

Publication Synopsis

‘Is being a mother the most defining role a woman can have? Nicki, Lauren, Charlotte and Steffi have been friends since university. Now in their thirties, life is pulling them in different directions, and motherhood is at the forefront of their minds. But when Charlotte organises a baby shower for Nicki on a hot summer's day, it changes their friendship forever. In the aftermath, each woman has a different view on what happened that day - but the truth will shock everyone. Even you.’

Genre: Dark humour, smart witted, modern thriller and contemporary romance

Themes: Womanhood, motherhood, grief, parenting, female friendships, relationships with social media and infertility

!This book does contain imagery and experiences of baby loss and infertility!

My thoughts and notes

This book popped up as a suggestion on Feeble from my last read (which I also reviewed and is published on LUNA magazine website), due to the theme of motherhood – not that I’m going through that or anywhere near – although I do have two sweet young felines but feel I’ve nailed the mother role for them already. I suppose it’s my interest in all women’s life experiences, both past and present, so I jumped from late 19^th century motherhood to the 21^st. A rather big jump, but incredibly interesting, not just from a story point of view but the storytelling too, how the two authors used and woven their characters through accuracy and wit.

This is the first of Holly Bourne's books I’ve read, so I was driven purely by the synopsis above, and was willing to try a non-historical fiction book, continuing the theme of womanhood.

Firstly, I have to say that it's not often a book makes me laugh out loud, but this really did, and numerous times; I tend to think that dark humour can be quite difficult to translate well over writing, especially when dealing with topics of female friendships, grief and infertility. Previously, I’ve not even finished some ‘dark humour’ books due to feeling drowned in badly timed and confusing remarks or due to the lack of. However, this literally hit the nail on the head, the humour added to the 4 women’s story, it never overtook or hid behind the writer’s message and drive of the story. For me, the dark humour really highlighted the women’s individual feelings and intentions, and made it so much more realistic, some of the remarks I said to myself then read on to find them cleverly woven into the text also. So yes, Holly Bourne knows us women very very… very well.

Bourne's use of analogies and metaphors had my readers' brain dancing, beautiful writing. Her skills of writing about very difficult experiences that the women go through is inspiring to me as a writer, Bourne's delicacy and naturalism bounces through, as does the humour. I exceptionally adored her descriptions of the female body, in all its droops and glories; also the sweltering summer's day that added to the stress of Nicki’s big day. The talent of Bourne made me feel I was, too, laid smothered over a settee, hand held fan like it’s the sacred crucifix, pleading to the sun to turn it down a lil.

Following on, the relationships between the 4 women were so very ‘fly on the wall’ naturalistic, although I must say some of these women’s confessions about each other were painfully cruel, yet unfortunately not too distant from life like friendships. I must say, as much as I admired and enjoyed these female characters, I’m so glad I don’t have friendships like them! The inner dialogue of these women is phenomenal. I liked how each chapter was passed from one character to the other, so the reader fully understood each situation and feelings towards the others and of their perspective and experience upon being a woman and motherhood. Whether it is, was or could be for them, with the help of watching how the other did or didn’t experience it.

I admired Bourne's use of comparison, in every chapter all of them compare themselves to the other or to a fracture of social media, their observations of their personal lacking. The commentary of the social media hate-yourself-sphere was eye opening and a mirror into my own relationship with it too, we compare ourselves and lives to people we don’t even know, or if they have good intentions with their ‘advice’ or live that life in reality (they probably don’t, it's just for likes), but was a mirror to how much we trust and depend on these social profiles, far too much for our own good and expectations of ourselves and our lives.

FYI Holly Bourne, this book would make a terrific film.

My notes on the characters (without spoiling the story)

Charlotte's character, especially, I really wanted to reach through the pages and give her the biggest hug, she deserves so much more than the ‘friendship’ those women gave her, and I'll just say I was her biggest supporter. Her character really ripped my heart open and sewn it back together.

Nicki, I struggled to grasp at first, someone I felt I wouldn’t warm too due to her hard exterior but through her storyline, I did want to have a chat and instruct her to be true to herself, whatever that may have meant to her. I feel she hurt people through the process of her choosing her life decisions to be where she was, not all intentional, but one felt so. Even by the end of the book, I felt least in support of and attached to her. Perhaps due to my own expectations of what a good friend is.

Lauren's storyline really did open my eyes to the common experience of feeling conned by motherhood as soon as her labour began, her dire treatment in hospital and having to put a smile and the kettle on, only days after the horror, to please others, yet inside (and outside) she was completely broken and forever scarred. The way Lauren felt nothing but fear afterwards, which translated to her thoughts about the future and how she would mother her son. She felt less of herself for not living a fairytale world of bringing another human into the world. This was an experience I’d never read before, and yet after doing some research, I see it's all too familiar a tale for so many.

Steffi was the anomaly of the group, only for not joining them in the motherhood experience, yet as the book tells, she was still and will always be just as loving, caring and successful as the others who chose that path. I like the modern tale of Steffi’s storyline, her ambitious and well witted chapters were refreshing and timely, in a society where women are and usually can choose their own destiny, her character was a remarkable example that just because a woman doesn’t do the historically ‘natural’ expectation of them, doesn’t make them any less f**king amazing.

My standout quotes:

NICKI

‘Every twist and turn of a pregnancy is etched onto a baby’s skin – a nine month house-share between mother and child turned into a glorious art on your baby’s palms’

‘Entwined our genes and blood and hereditary diseases and squashed them together into a living, breathing human that were to ‘meet’ in a month’

‘They droop inelegantly, resting on my building stomach, harvesting little ponds of sweat underneath them’

‘Forgiveness is the balm I apply over the pain’

CHARLOTTE

‘On the top shelf, the cupcakes are holding up nicely that I baked after school yesterday. Hopefully they won’t taste of fridge’

‘I put down the papier-macher vulva I made for the pinata and smile’

‘The sheer, audacious, everyday relentless effort of motherhood- such an exhausting, all-encompassing ‘gift’. One I’m still desperate for, but for once, I’m looking at the mother and feeling something more than jealousy. I’m ready to try and understand.’

‘I clutch tighter and they all copy, and, for a quiet, perfect moment, we are one organism – a fusing of womanhood and the love we have for each other.’

LAUREN

‘She said the hardest part of pregnancy was the maternity bras not being sexy enough’

‘I find myself screaming at my own breasts, who ignore me, and bloom milk through both my ugly, sagging feeding bra and lacklustre navy dress of shattered dreams’

‘Am I going to die? I asked the lady holding my hand. Who was she? What was her name? I’ll never see her again. I’m not even sure what her job was.’

‘Everything that’s good about my life, I’ve pulped it to blood on the altar if motherhood’

STEFFI

‘Hurt that a party like this has never been thrown for me because I’ve not yet achieved any paint-by-number life achievement’

‘Mum always reassured me that I was the best thing she ever did, but she was brutally honest about the sacrifices’

Steffi’s mum ‘I never want you to hold back Steffi. Wings clipped. Stuck in a house, using feathers to make a nest rather than using them to fly’

What did the book mean to me?

To me this book was a mirror, a look into how we women are built and conditioned to be against one another, in all areas of life. Comparing and contrasting social media accounts, appearances, careers, education, relationships and life decisions. But why are we doing so, when we are not all the same? Or even want to be? Every woman in my life has their unique story and experiences, and I don’t love them any less for it, nor should they. It’s what makes those coffee catch ups more exciting and funnier, if we were, like social media and social expectations wants us to, copy and paste of one another, it’d be a silent table or one of utter misery.

I must also say that if you think the same way about your friends as some of these women do, maybe look for new connections, as your friends shouldn’t make you feel worthless or selfish. No time for toxic connections my loves, there’s over 7 billion beating hearts on this planet. But I think that’s part of the overriding message from Bourne.

Each of us decide, live and react differently- but that’s our blueprint, and the glue that fixes us to other humans, where we click with another because they’re similar or the complete opposite. If we all screamed when a spider makes an appearance, who’d be sane enough to help the poor thing to escape the screeching? Differences aren’t just good, they’re a necessity within relationships, small or big.

Be a woman’s woman, care, love, protect and champion them.

We shouldn’t judge a friend on the decisions they make, more how they decide to be – if their core is good and you match it, then who cares if their life isn’t symmetrical to yours?  

This book reminded me, woven through the theme of motherhood, that us women are truly magnificent beings, not just because our bodies can provide another human to the world, if you so choose too, but because of our HUGE capacity to laugh, cry, scream, care and love is of phenomenal abundance. No matter the situation at hand. Yeah, like I said women are, in every sense, truly truly remarkable!

As you can gather, I do highly recommend this read and wish to delve into Bourne's other writing.

Till next time chicks, Jessie x