Knowing When to Ask, Pressures During Pregnant

Dear Diary, 

It has recently occurred to me that many people have no sense of etiquette when it comes to pregnancy related conversations. I was at work, minding my business, on my way to my next class. A colleague approached me. Mind you, this is not a colleague I am particularly close with, as we’ve only talked a handful of times since I’ve started working here. The first words out of their mouth were, “I’ve been noticing you’ve gained quite a bit of weight! Are you pregnant?” 

When I tell you, my jaw dropped... I actually needed a few seconds to process. Not only have I been so insecure about my body changing, but now someone I hardly know felt the need to point it out loudly, in front of other colleagues?! I was baffled. I didn’t even know how to respond, I just nodded and said, “Please don’t tell anyone, it’s still early and I’m not ready to disclose this yet.” All I could do at that point was turn around and walk away. I tried to ignore the feeling in my stomach, the anxiety and insecurities rushing up to the surface.

The next day, four more colleagues approached me in the same way. Starting off by saying how “You were so skinny and now you’ve gained a whole bunch of weight! What’s going on?” and others just jumping right into the “Are you pregnant?” question. Some even said, “Wow that was fast, was it planned?” I’ve cried three times about this. And I know that sounds so silly, but I can’t help but feel like everyone is talking about this and everyone knows. I ended up telling my

boss much earlier than I wanted because I didn’t want them to find out from someone else.

If all you take from these diary entries is one thing, let it be this: PLEASE don’t approach someone you are not close with and talk about their weight if you suspect they are pregnant. I mean, it’s an odd thing to do even if you don’t think they’re pregnant…

I suppose I might as well get ready for telling the rest of the staff (if they don’t

already know) that I won’t be joining them next year!

Pray for me,

B.