Being Too Much

Have you ever sat quietly in the corner of a bar with your friends letting everyone else do the talking? Or ever not shared that post on Instagram just because you don't know what people might think? Or even better, have you just agreed with what everyone is saying, looking interested just because it's easier to go with the flow? We could write hundreds of scenarios that we put ourselves in, let's not play the blame game and regret making ourselves feel small.

At the time that's what our body told us to do. When we walk through that door at the end of the day and we start to ask ourselves, am I too much? Feeling this way is a good indicator that your body is telling you are around the wrong people. It's easier said than done because people create big parts in our lives and we don't want to let them go for numerous reasons. Weighing up your energy for someone else should be offensive to yourself. If you can't be your fullest then what's the point.

I always struggled growing up feeling too much inside like uncontrollable amounts, where I would go from feeling everything to nothing at all. Being so black and white with everything I thought or did. I felt it was unusual of me where one minute, I've got my heart on my sleeve the next I don't want to ever look at them ever again. Constantly wondering why I took emotions so seriously and thinking it was a flaw within myself. But in reality it wasn't a flaw from myself, it was a part of me and that's how I have always been. Connecting with my family and the friends I have realised that they are exactly the same.

I thought feeling too much and loving too hard was a negative thing but actually it's a beautiful thing, that not everyone has and that's okay too. People have said I overthink or am too sensitive. Whatever that means. There will be many parts of people I don't have within me like being laid back and spontaneous. You would be amazed at not only how many doors open to incredible people that are just exactly like you, think like you, laugh and love the same things as you.

Sometimes we don't even realise we are dampening ourselves until we surround ourselves with that one person that makes you full. People who feel the same as you, respect you more for being yourself than they will for you being like everyone else. There are people out there that can be totally opposites to how you view the world who are truly special too. 

It takes a lot of guts to put yourself out there and open up sharing what you love. It makes you fragile but builds you up stronger than before. Even the slightest feeling from before is like a pinch nowadays. Never dull yourself for anyone, friends, family or partners. Radiate everything that's you, that's your superpower and luckily for you no one can ever take that away.