What No One Tells You About Moving Home After University

Some of us go to university and think it's going to be a walk in the park. If you have read some of our articles previously we have given advice and talked about some of our experiences. We can easily say it wasn't what you see in the movies. And that isn't a bad thing. 

Onto after university. Bliss. Freedom. No deadlines hanging over you. You can go home and not have to wonder what is for tea. The washing is done. Time to relax, focus on ourselves after stretching ourselves thin. 

From my own experience there was a dread as soon as I started living on my own that I would have to move back home in three years time. Why was I already thinking of the end, you were only just getting started! The independence was too good. Doing everything in your own time. You feel like an adult. That one step further. Why would you want to go back home after living solo for so many years. Even better, if you are lucky enough as I was, to live with some of your best friends, that was even harder. Who now lives four hours away, RIP. 

Despite having these thoughts I was ready. Ready to leave education. Ready to move on. And ready to be back with my family. After dealing with the often homesickness I learnt over time things about myself. I liked being home. It definitely made me fall back in love with my childhood home. That it had changed since I had last left. No haunting teenage year memories looming over me when I visit.  When I came back it was like stepping into some old shoes again. It didn't feel out of place, like I had all those times when I chose to do some fleeting visits. To be with my people. 

Now all the fluffy parts are out of the way, here are the not so glamorous parts. Coming home and being comfy and enjoying life for a bit is great until the looming question comes: ‘What are you doing now since you have left university’. Answer: not a clue. Most of us want to plan life when we get back but it is impossible. My life a year on from graduating couldn't be more different than ever. And that is not just the city I live in. 

When you go to university you choose a course to align with what your future career is. At least I hope you do or it is a lot of money wasted and stress to take on for the sake of it. In my mind I wanted to travel, do sport reporting and save money for a car. Have I done any? No. That is nothing to be embarrassed about. When I check up on university friends they are on the same wavelength as me. You can never plan to come home. 

When you have been skint for three years all you want is money. You want to wait for ‘the job’ but whilst doing that there's no money coming in and you may be used to that but you have the time to do more. So you sign yourself up to apply for anything that will make you an income making you feel like I have all these skills and qualifications to work in retail. What?! 

There is so much pressure to have it all figured out but you are newly in your twenties when you leave university and remember that. Who has it all figured out by then? I know those random people on Tik Tok will tell you they have. And what percentage might they be? Like 3% of twenty year olds. Who knows? 

Adapting to a life in a home with a full house of siblings, parents, partners and pets is a major change. Yes you have lived with others but your lives were separate. Almost like fleeting ships in the night. But in a family household you are intertwined. Living with partners too from one house to another is a lot. That adjustment takes time. Find your flow within the house and settle back in, it's been a long time. 

And my last one, relationships may change. Not for everyone but for myself friendships have been more difficult to manage since moving back home. It never needed to be but it has been, which is a learning curve I didn't know was coming. They have lived without you for so long and the norm is not seeing each other for months on end. People change and grow in different ways. They might not be the same person you left them all that time ago. 

Now it isn't all that bad is it? University was one of the best experiences and I miss it a lot for its own reasons. But I can happily say if you are a little scared of either coming out of education or coming home it isn't as daunting as you imagine from the day you leave.