What’s in a Name? Three Steps to name a Trans Girl

What’s in a name? A question that many ask themselves as they come close to expecting the arrival of a child, the hunt for names can take many forms. A name is the most special aspect of a person’s identity – a unique moniker of who a person is, has been or will become, a legacy of those who have come before, & a chance for families to express themselves through their children, forming a platform from which they will grow & develop into their name, making it their own.

But naming children isn’t the only thing that drives people to name banks, online forums & consulting the family tree. Naming pets is a common driver for people to consider what goes into a name, wanting the newest member of their family to be as part of the clan as anyone; late nights in with the girls discussing what you’d name your baby, or rating the names of the people they’ve been chatting to; or finding out what everyone’s names mean sitting around the table in the festive season. But for Trans+ people, it’s not another person you’re naming – it’s yourself.

Like many Trans+ people, the time would always come that I would need to find a new name - & it’s been a journey almost five years in the making. A journey that has involved those that I love, my families, my friends & a deep dive into my past, childhood & everything that has formed the person I am now becoming. My name is one of the most important parts of who I am & is a journey that has encompassed & taken everything I have ever known.

This story has been told before. But finally, its third & final chapter is now complete.

Ironically enough, it was my last name that came first, & long before I began my transition. My original surname was never one I particularly liked; derived from my father, a side of the family with which I have always had a complex relationship, & a name that due to its composition & its nature akin to that of double entendre, would commonly be jested & jeered at, particularly during primary school. Yet at the same time, I found comfort in an unusual source – a classic puzzle-based video game of Japanese origin, the Professor Layton games always stuck in my mind. And with an opening for a surname in my future, the first (or last!) part of my new name had already been found.

In the early days of my transition, when I was still experimenting & figuring out who I was, was when my first name came onto the scene. I distinctly remember the day that it happened, because it was my family that selected it. During a conversation with my best friend, we discussed my feelings on a transition, & I remember asking innocuously what my name would be, had I been born a girl. Seeing as she replied within seconds with one of my favourite names, the matter was settled. And Sophie Layton was born, even if it would be a year later until I properly adopted my name, coming out to the world.

And there my name remained for many years, missing its middle & leaving me in a strange sort of hybrid position – with my chosen first & last names, & assigned middle names. But that deadlock has been broken. Choosing your own name, even one of them, is an incredibly challenging task, & one that seemingly takes everything you have. From hours of pouring through name sites, online forums & friends’ thoughts, it was a hidden entry on a list of baby names I had written years ago that cinched it. And once I had discovered it meant ‘storyteller’, I knew it was the one. After years of looking, the search came to an end.

Naming yourself is a task unlike any other. It’s one that seemingly tests you to the very core of your being, an introspective insight into who you are as a person. And with that journey now complete, I have never felt more me than I do now. A name is the most personal thing each of us have, & to have gotten to choose my own has been a highlight of my journey, as we approach five years since it began.

Sophie Jessica Layton, signing off.

Written by Sophie Layton (she/her)