Why It Is Better to Do It Scared and Alone Than Not at All

I’m an introvert. I suppose I always have been. Unless I’m surrounded by those I’m

comfortable with social situations absolutely petrify me.

The thought of being alone, in a room full of people I don’t know, having to deal with the weight of carrying conversation or the fear of judging eyes peeling me back is terrifying. Still, it is something I have had to grapple with in recent years.

I cannot begin to count the numerous times where I have missed out on opportunities, never

explored places I’ve desperately wanted to go to, done things I’ve always wanted to do,

simply because of that overriding fear.

Being able to look back now, I realise how much I regret it.

Of course, it’s easier to do things when you have others around you, a social shield if you

will, but in those moments where you can’t, maybe no one is available, it is better to do what

you want to, even alone, as opposed to not at all.

It’s easier said than done, but it’s so cathartic and worth it in the long run. Oftentimes doing

things alone aren't as scary as it seems.

I really wanted to start going to the gym in the last few years, but I always stopped myself. I

thought I would look stupid, and particularly when I started university, I knew there would be

no chance of me being able to go with my close friends because of us no longer living in the

same vicinity. I talked myself out of it again, and again and again, allowing my apprehension

to build. Until one day, very recently, I decided to bite my anxiousness and just go for the

first time. By the time I had left, I found it almost laughable how scared I was before.

 My experience was wholly positive, and I realised, all the eyes I thought would be looking at me whilst I was there, were preoccupied with focusing on themselves. It seems obvious in

hindsight that I would not have been judged, but the brain has a funny way of overthinking things.

University was definitely a wake up call to me in regards to doing things alone. In every

aspect university pulls your safety blanket from under you, but more than anything, it is your

social safety blanket that is tugged. Like every other new environment, university thrusts you

into a scene with thousands of new faces, which can be daunting for a socially awkward

a person like myself.

I would stress about my classes, about going to society events, and anything that would

place me in a situation where I would have to be alone, which was almost everything.

As much as I hated the idea of it, I knew I had to push myself, for the fear of missing out

would take a much worse toll on me. And I did, and through that, I met many amazing and

friendly people. I didn’t feel so isolated any more.

Not every experience will be positive, I’ve had many neutral and negative experiences too,

but I can’t say I’ve ever regretted any, because if nothing else, I have at least gained a new

experience by doing things alone.

With every new experience and instance of you allowing yourself to be comfortable with

doing things alone, it gets easier — that is something I can promise you.

My best advice is to start with something small, go on a walk, or to the cinema. Allow

yourself to see that it’s not as bad as your mind is trying to convince you it could be.

And, if you really want to go somewhere or to do something, and no one is able to

accompany you, trust me when I say to just go ahead anyway because it will always be

more rewarding to do it by yourself and terrified, than to not do it all.

Written by, La’Keesha Stewart