Caution, Handle With Care -I’m Sensitive

One of those qualities which people like to use as an insult, or within unsolicited feedback, ‘you’re too sensitive!’ Yes, I am, how dare I feel emotions.

Not sure if it’s a British thing, but I’ve always been reminded how deeply I feel emotions, and how it’s never been an ideal trait to have. Reminded that I must always act like a rock, nothing can break me! The truth is, I believe being sensitive is one of the best traits you can have. It tells me you have a great amount of empathy and open your emotions and heart to the outer, more insensitive world- which takes immense courage and vulnerability. 

Now this isn’t an advert to make yourself blubber at everything but often, I’m glad I’m a sensitive person. 

Don’t get me wrong there’s times where it's beyond frustrating to feel things deeper than the average person, I do blame my ADHD for some of it, to feel weaker and emotionally charged. A prime example was on my holiday to Santorini, where I constantly burst into tears over the number of stray cats. I was drained by the time I was on the return flight. 

Especially this past week with the heartbreaking story of baby Japanese Macaque, Punch, who was abandoned by his mother and was given a stuffed Orangutan, to bring him comfort as he hasn’t settled in with the rest of the troop- where incidents have occurred where he has been attacked and isolated by the rest. The videos of him being chased, attacked and alone, where he runs to his plushie has BROKEN me. 

It's all over my social media, my eyes haven’t had a break this week. Later in the week, beautiful photos emerged of him being adopted by some of the others, pruned and hugged- as he deserved, but then soon after videos emerged of him being attacked again. A rollercoaster, for him and for me. I’m sure like many across the globe who’ve been emotionally beaten by this story, I can’t wait to see him included and happy, which will hopefully soon come (I’ve been repeating to myself this week). This is a plea to my dear Punch- you are loved, you are strong and you are worthy <3

I do find that I'm VERY sensitive when it comes to animals, I believe it's because they can’t communicate the same way humans can, when in pain or fear- that I’m emotionally attuned to them as just because they can’t verbalize it doesn’t mean they can’t feel it.

However, my sensitivity stretches to world matters and injustices, they too cut deeply. 

One of the most frustrating experiences with being sensitive is the overthinking cycle, which can drag you into a deep hole. A slight change in a person’s mood or actions can overwhelm me with ‘they hate me’ or ‘they’re fighting something’, when they’re just human and are tired or having a wobbly day – nothing to do with me and nothing to worry about or try and fix. It’s mixed with a dash of people-pleasing which can keep me up at night and assume there’s a problem when there isn’t. But I feel the more I accept that this trait is a huge part of me, I’ve been able to distract and lower the volume of this aspect of sensitivity. 

Equally, my sensitivity has helped me connect quickly and strongly to others, who I may have just met, or strangers. It makes me tread carefully and gently through life, and handle everything and everyone around me with care. I also feel joy, and happiness on another level, like seeing the photos of baby Punch being hugged by one of the adult Macaques, I felt on top of the world and that everything was rainbows and roses again. 

Is it worth feeling emotionally uncontrolled sometimes? No, not entirely. It can be exhausting and adds weight to an already heavy day sometimes. The price of emotional power. Instead of feeling ashamed by this, I’ve grown to let it be a positive and powerful quality, it's a privilege to feel the ebbs and flows of life. I do always feel reassured and appreciate that no matter what life throws, my heart will always be open and empathy flowing. Thank god. 

In today’s world, empathy is at an all time low, so if you have it – you’re a rare gem!

It takes time, but if you’re a fellow sensitive soul, this is your sign to accept it and to not hide or be ashamed of it. There are very frustrating elements to being sensitive, and it's not easy at all, but you’ll appreciate things in life that the average person doesn't.  The world needs more of us, I fear we wouldn’t get into this mess if we outnumbered the ‘swinging bricks’ walking the planet. I’ll leave some tips below to help the emotional burn out that I use and feel are helpful. But please remember it’s a superpower, which many tell you is wrong or bad – just hope that one day their empathy and openness can break through too. 

BRB just found flights to Japan and added millions of Ikea teddy orangutans in my hand luggage.

Tips for emotional overwhelm, from a fellow sensitive soul, not medically trained:

• Write your feelings down just for you to see, get them on paper (or phone), go into how ever much detail you want to about the situation or emotion – this really helps it it out of your head and allow you to physically occupy the mind

• Create a list of solutions you can do to help or ease the specific situation or feeling, often it’s nothing, but allows your brain to think of solutions rather than chewing again the same element or upset

• Watch, listen or read your comfort stories, allow your mind to rest in the predictable knowledge of your favourite scenes- mine is either Wes Anderson's Fantastic Mr Fox or the 2005 Pride and Prejudice. I won’t hear any slander on either, thank you. 

• Talk about it! Hearing other people’s perspective and understanding of a situation or emotion can shift your view too, its comfort to know if someone feels the same (yes, your mind is still intact although it may feel its rolled off and down the M1) it’s great to get it off your chest, dry the tears and get distracted with another conversation 

• Get outside – this is a HUGE one for me, wind, rain or shine, when my head feels busy or drained, I get my shoes on and I’m off. Nature really is healing and a great all-encompassing diversion for you

• PLEASE do not endlessly search for answers, or more information or get yourself into that worm hole. You’re only punishing yourself more, I know this is more difficult with the wonderful world of ‘algorithms’, but the more you look/search the more you emotionally hurt yourself and the longer you’ll be in burn out jail. You’ve already seen enough, when you’re in the burn out stage, so please, no more 

Stay sensitive, with care, chicks!

Jessie x