Change, Knowing You Need It, but Unsure of the Journey There

If, like me, you like and embrace change, or even if you don’t, there’s points in our lives where a lightbulb can ding or slowly come to light, whereby the need for change begins to knock on the door. Big or small, sometimes you can’t pretend you’re not in, and must answer it.

Sometimes you're lucky and the need for change comes with a full pack of 'what' and ‘how to’ guidance books, but others (mainly the ones I’ve experienced) have the ‘how to’ guides missing.

Currently my pang for change is a new environment, which has been on my mind for a while but now its at the forefront, but changing your environment - by this I mean a new city, somewhere new to explore and become my stomping ground, as I feel I’m going round and round every route of my home city, the same bars, same walks and opportunities. I’ve always known I'll move out of South Yorkshire but didn’t have a pin on the map as to when.

Sheffield will always be my home and my pride, growing up here for nearly 24 years, I’m busting out the cage to venture elsewhere. But that’s where the knowledge of change ends, left with many unanswered questions – with who? What? Where? When?

My patience is a fluctuating thing, I have patience for people, but not for change, especially when I’m in control of it. As soon as the thoughts in my head, I endlessly mind map, Rightmove search, google and make lists – but moving cities isn’t a straightforward change.

Neither is moving jobs, relationships, houses etc. Many changes are long drawn out, that can’t be an overnight, one email or one purchase later kind of thing. I think that’s why we don't make or follow through with big changes too often. Due to the work and waiting around, it can seem like being at base camp one on the way up to mount Everest.

However, they’re usually the worthiest of waits.

If you think back to all those other changes you’ve made in your life so far, especially the longer and more frustrating ones – did they pay off? (not just financially, usually that can be the final click to make the change feel worth it). Hopefully the answer is yes. Personally speaking, although some changes I made were painfully complex and seemed impossible at the time, I don’t regret or even ponder on the bad times within them, only how grateful and worthy they were from a future perspective.

Those, moments are always so gratifying and never forget to give yourself a good pat on the back and a cheeky toast to you being in control of your life and the many paths and decisions that have lead you to where you are know, even if, like me – your awaiting and not at your destination yet. It ain’t easy, troopers!

But on that subject of waiting, let's talk. This is the most difficult part, especially when you’re

at the very beginning – having no fixed and firm plans or pathway in place, just an idea… a

dream perhaps. It's an exciting feeling, but usually gets drowned out by frustration and impatience, which is valid and no your not just ‘due on’, these decision and changes can bring out the worst in us, but we must remind ourselves of the end goal, and not idolising the future so much that we lose touch of the present. Girls, if I could press a magic button (not the nuclear one), I absolutely would, so we could all enjoy our lives and make the best decisions in peace and harmony.

My current need for change in cities, preferably with a friend, is at VERY early stages, but it does consume my every thought. However, it's not going to be within the next week, which is my normal time frame for change; I need to save and save them shillings, decide where we plant ourselves, then onto renting options and jobs. It’s the biggest 3 changes, all scooped up into one. All of this brings me away from where my feet are and can dispose of the frustration onto my current environment that we can do without, for our own sanity.

I always think and encourage people to act upon their need and want for change, even if it

means making difficult decisions, those inner naggings are a call from future you, if your gut

feels right, always endeavour to make it happen, step by step, no matter the timeline.. or if your ‘how to’ guides didn’t turn up either.

In the meantime, for those more drawn-out changes, whatever they may be, please don’t

lose sight of what makes you happy or see joy in your life as it is – although the change

may make you feel more fulfilled, it’s not ideal to wish days away. I struggle with this the

most, as I’m quite headstrong in my decisions, but it’s been a learning curve, sometimes I’ve

been so hellbent on a drive towards change, I’ve missed and regretted not looking up whilst awaiting.

There's no easy fix but below are some tips to hopefully aid the waiting time and help put plans into action – that won’t sacrifice your life in the present!

♥ Begin a weekly timetable and slot in 3-5 hours a week where you can research, list, make and focus on driving the change forward or to do paperwork exc for it, if already in motion. When you get further down the line, you could allocate more time.

♥ It is what you make of it – when waiting for change to happen, ensure to make the most of your current situation, don’t hide yourself away in the meantime continue to enjoy and see life, where and how you are in the current moment, fulfilled or not, life won’t wait.

♥ Within your plan for the week, ensure to slot in time to see friends/family, they’re always great utensils for keeping you grounded!

♥ Aim to not obsess over the change, it’s okay to have a lil swipe on indeed or Rightmove, but don’t let it become your sole habit for the day, that’s where the emptiness begins to widen and will only amplify your frustrations.

♥ Pinterest board! A great way to visualise change, as it’s an app, it’s easy to click on, scroll and save, look back and quickly click off back into the present. Like all apps you can now set a daily timer on them, on your phone settings, this is great for ensuring you don’t get too carried away and allow it to eat away at your present time.

♥ On a calendar, preferably a paper on, so you can visualise it fully, put your drive towards change within blocks by weeks or months – for example; my block for the next two months is to research cities I’id like to visit, and do a day trip to them (unless I’ve already been), then from August to October, I'll look at the reality of renting – whilst putting money away each month since April. This way the change looks more manageable, and you can see your end goal.

♥ Ensure to continue with life, book holidays, events and look for new places to visit near where you are now, don’t lose sight of the now, keep it exciting whilst you’re waiting for your change.

♥ Keep being grateful, don’t take the bird song you hear every summer morning for granted, it’s the smaller things that will stay with you and you’ll end up yearning for - make a daily note or journal of what you're grateful for, in the present moment.

Written by, Jessie Bellamy