Designed to Be Looked At: Life Under the Male Gaze

This is one of the worst gifts a woman can be given, which is, male attention.

Coming from a woman in their 20s. Growing up all the way throughout our teens and even as a young child we are manufactured to feel like we should have male attention to be validated.

Male attention doesn’t look exactly the same to everyone. I have friends that are so blissfully unaware that they crave male attention, without them even realising. Wearing certain clothes, being validated as “attractive” on nights when approached and creating a facade to others.

They make subconscious choices every day for male attention and this is what we call the male gaze. It is actually crazy how we do things in default and don’t even realise that we’re doing it. Personally I think women should all be aware of this and learn what it means. I have been a 

victims of it too, don't worry. 

How society makes us feel within ourselves, we think and look a certain way for males. Not all women find themselves in this whole as we grow older, we become wiser when it comes to men and attention.

Is all attention good? When we sit down and realise that the attention we have turned into validation it can be quite a scary thing to decipher. Are my decisions my own? Is this what I want?

Whether you’re doing something because you want to or you’re doing it because you want to impress or be better. It creates this facade that you’re this person that you are but aren’t fully on the inside. Male validation comes from our shell.  It’s nothing ever from the inside, our interests or how we carry ourselves. It is never a concern for one's own personality. It’s always for years and years about how we look. Into these categories making sure that we have a certain aesthetic or vibe.  

So many people lose themselves in the process and miss out on a lot.  Either they are unhappy, chasing situations. Even worse looking at themself in the mirror and don't recognise himself. Even in social situations women miss and lose sight of the fact that they have so many amazing friends in front of them but instead they seek validation from people in the club, for example.

I’m not saying that a cheeky flirt, dressing up for your man or anything like that is wrong because it’s not. We shouldn’t have to stop these things. It’s the mental side and recognising these behaviors. It will make our lives a lot easier and also for other women because they won’t have to feel these pressures as much as you’re feeling. It is important to remember that as much as we want to be validated, we want attention and we want to feel included as long as you remember that you don’t need another body to make you feel that. Never mind a whole gender type. 

As we get older we understand this and hopefully it gets easier that we start to lose sight of this attention of fulfillment from men. And that we want the fulfillment from within ourselves and the people that genuinely have our best interest at heart and lovers for exactly when they come and never ask for anything more.