From Hope to a Heartbeat

Dear Diary,

My heart was pounding. My hands were trembling. I heard the squeeze of the

bottle, felt the cold gel plop on my belly, followed by the smooth but cold wand

rub circles around my abdomen. I held my breath, but the ultrasound lady didn’t

say anything. I searched her face for any indication of satisfaction,

disappointment, anything. She kept a straight face, not even blinking. Then she

turned to me and said, “You might want to call your husband now.” 

My heart sank immediately and I fought the tears that were threatening to spill

over. Nodding, I fumbled for my phone and called him, he answered before it

could even ring. “She said you should come in now,” I whispered. A second later ,

the doorknob turned. As he entered the room, I held my breath. And then she said

“Hi dad, are you excited to see this?” My heart felt like it could explode. It was the first time someone had called him dad. Relief flooded through me and she turned the screen for us to both see.

Pointing at the small black blob on the screen, she said “That’s your uterus.” She

adjusted the wand and a small white blob entered the black one. “And that’s your

baby.” The tears began to flow silently but I couldn’t stop smiling. She showed us

the fetal pole, the yolk sac and where the little legs were starting to form. We saw

the flicker of the heartbeat and she told us it was strong and healthy. I couldn’t

even speak. My husband was smiling so wide, a look of awe twinkled in his eyes.

“We made that. That’s half of you and half of me.”

She printed us a picture and I spent the rest of the day staring at it. It finally felt

real. My anxiety started to wash away slowly. We were almost through the first

trimester. Almost through the toughest part. We just had to hold on for a few more

weeks!

With Easter weekend falling on week 12, we plan to tell the rest of our families and

friends and are so excited to finally be able to share this miracle!

See you next week,

B.