How Cool is it to be an Empath

Being an empath sucks.

Joking!

I’ve always thought that feeling intensively was a negative thing until recently. Comments like “You overthink too much”, “You are too sensitive” and “You need to take a chill pill”. 

Two things within those saying “need” and “too”. Those degrading words and said so negatively. I have never been made to feel that these were good things. 

When I realised that it’s not weird to feel like this it became freeing. 

I never really knew that I felt so intense about a lot of things around me. This was my normal and most of my friends and family growing up were the same and our thoughts never differed. Obviously growing up as a young woman over time you meet new people and backgrounds. Then being a hetrosexual woman finding partners exposed myself to be vulnerable leading up to some of these comments. 

Then on top of this the stereotypes of being a woman as sensitive, emotional and weak, just made it easier for those comments to be said and inevitable. It is like a war with your own mind and emotions. 

Then came suppressing my mentions and not wanting to be a burden to others which only left me feeling empty, small and drowning all at once. It made my emotions even more deeper and enhanced. 

When I’m sad it takes over my whole body sometimes to a point where my body hurts and it takes over eating habits and makes me sleep a lot. It has led me to have problems with eating where i can eat the world without stopping or feel sick at the thought of eating. Then when it comes to sleeping habits I go from sleeping till crazy times into the afternoon to staying up reading and watching telly. Then let's  not forget the nightmares, they have always crept up on me when I am the most stressed and when I need sleep the most, so thank you brain for that. 

The next person could brush it off and deal with them later. 

But this was my normal and I assumed everyone reacted the same way when feeling sad and happy emotions. 

When people would tell me things about what they would be going through I felt it within me and would sometimes carry it with me as if it was my own emotion. 

I never knew this until I got into my twenties. When I would walk away from people and almost live through their emotions into my life. 

When I’m happy I'm at an all time high, but then when I go back to a low point from my high, I just crash and crumble. It is like a switch; it is just easy to turn on and off. One good thing about this is I can move on from being irritated back to normal, I can move past things quickly.

It feels extreme and uncontrollable. 

Hobbies and interests have always been up and down as I will start something and then become obsessed with another thing and start. Do you know how many paint by numbers I have started and not finished. Do you know how much I think about reading other books while I am sitting reading a book I couldn't wait to start. I can watch TV and be thinking about all the other things I can do at the same time. What? Do I think I am a superhero?

Always jumping from one thing to another. 

Throughout my life I have always found it hard to decipher between what I like, what I love, what I dislike and hate. Feeling and thinking so strong and knowing this about myself only makes it harder for me to decide if I am overreacting or not. 

My emotions can change so quickly, including a lot of relationships and friendships where I am very black-and-white.

For example, I either wear my heart on my sleeve or I just don’t want to have anything to do with them. And I hate this. 

This can make it very hard to form bonds and I become very attached when I do create them. 

Which is why I can only surround myself with people I am my truest self with. The ones I can be fun and vulnerable with, those two things are important to me. And they should tell you if you feel the same. 

If they don't understand that part of you or are willing to get to know you, let them go. 

It's bad enough trying to navigate through your own mind. Being understood is attractive and important. 

From personal experience it is not worth the mental stress when someone isn't willing to understand. 

POV: your worst nightmare is not knowing where you stand with someone.

It’s something that I wish I wasn’t like but then also I can’t change it.

When I felt too much in certain situations in relationships the wrong people have made me feel that I was "too much" because I couldn’t be in between or if I wanted to know if it was all or nothing.

Over time I have realised it is not a bad thing that I can feel these emotions and use them to help people. Be there for people just like me and even better find people like me too.

It makes me be a person that is there for people and understand others whether I’ve not been in the situation or not.

It’s not a weakness because when I love, I love hard and when I care for someone I give them all the care I have. It is so special and not everyone is and does.  

I’ve always just wanted to be able to be cool about situations or people and be a "go with the flow" type of person.

There have been many tears shed and frustrating thoughts but at some point I came to realise this is normal for me and something I can't change. 

I embrace it more now than I ever have thanks to my Mum. 

After so much upset thinking of why am I like this, she reassured me it's a part of being a Rockett!

And that she has been like this all her life too and it’s cool to care and take life in so much but to be aware you feel like this.  

I get to romanticise life, have a lot of passions and form amazing relationships and be myself. 

The world I see around me isn't necessarily what everyone else sees and that's okay. 

Having these traits doesn't make you a bad person and trust me there are many people exactly in the same boat.

They probably haven't said because you haven't asked. 

There will be many people who feel exactly the same but won't mention it because it is always looked at and felt as a negative thing. 

To be able to feel so intensely is a super power and to embrace it always.

Only because the people in your life previously haven't understood you doesn't mean you don't deserve to be understood. 

It's hard but we can reassure each other that it is better to not feel at all.