Misandry: Why I Am a Man-Hater

The term misandry means to hate or be prejudiced against men because they are men. And personally, while living in a patriarchal society, I’m all for it. Here’s why. I love feminism. I have always loved feminism. I hated being in school when teachers would ask for ‘big strong boys’ to carry a chair down the hall or some heavy textbooks. I hated when some kid would fall and get hurt, but hold back his tears because GOD FORBID a boy shows any emotion beyond anger and frustration. I hated the restrictions: pink is too girly to be taken seriously, boys don’t paint your nails, etc. 

So, why am I a misandrist? Well. There has been a rise in conversation about what makes a ‘top tier’ or ‘high quality’ man. By now, the clip of the hosts of the ‘TONIGHTSCONVERSATION’ podcast has circulated over the internet a thousand times.( Linked here for those interested: Is this true about the “real” definition of a “top tier” man?) 6 '4 and six figures is apparently all men need to do to be ‘top tier’. He also includes that he is a Black man in his top-tier listing, which I don’t think is relevant, but he does. Two of the three things he claims make him a ‘top tier’ man are completely out of his control. Your physical traits, lineage, and all predate your existence. Being tall and Black doesn’t make or break your ranking on the list of top-tier men. 

Speaking for all women, the world would be a better place if the only thing separating men on a tiered list of greatness were shallow traits. If men were truly top tier, they’d be kinder and charismatic; they’d be leaders, not dictators.

Men obsess over these surface-level characteristics because they have never had a real conversation with anyone. Friendships are surface-level enough that they don’t notice if it ends; therapy is an unheard-of concept, and women are somehow expected to pick up that slack. 

One article discusses the imbalance of the emotional labour in modern relationships, and the high rates of men who follow "masculinity influencers” or red pill content if we’re being frank, and women who are actively choosing to live against the patriarchal societal norms. This whole idea of mankeeping (unpaid relationship labour–social or emotional, sometimes physical labour at home as well– that often relies on the women in heterosexual relationships) that is expected of women is the very reason why women are choosing to live independently and/or completely single(Women Are Refusing To Be In Relationships With Men In Record Numbers, And This Is The Brutal Truth Behind Why). Men often believe the financial costs of a relationship, an “expected” burden for them, justify the unpaid labour from women. 

In a world where we are paid less on a global scale(https://www.equalpaytoday.org, 2026), expected to look photo-ready (skincare, hair, makeup, shaving/waxing, fitness, etc), eat a salad at dinner, and still put out afterwards—I’m surprised women haven’t left Earth in its entirety and started a new civilization. Circling back to the podcast, the only woman shown in the clip speaks of a ‘top tier’ being top tier in terms of character, honour, how they speak to others, etc. 

This is often the issue between modern women and men who want to uphold standards of a society that doesn’t exist anymore. 

Women can work, they can live alone or with friends, they have vibrators, friendships that are more emotionally intimate than some romantic relationships they’ve been in. Having a man is NOT the be-all and end-all.

So, yes, I am a man-hater at heart. Because men should always be reminded that they can not offer the bare minimum while expecting the world from women who are trying to build lives on their own.

Written by, Grace Almonte