No Longer Too Much or Too Little

Hello beautiful besties,

Have you ever noticed that you act differently around certain people?

Not because you are pretending.

Not because you are being fake.

But because some people just feel… safe.

For many autistic people, the world can feel like a place where we are constantly adjusting

ourselves. We might watch how other people behave, copy social rules, hide things that feel

different, and try to fit into what is expected.

This is often called masking.

Masking can mean hiding autistic traits or changing how we naturally act so we can blend in.

It might mean forcing eye contact, stopping yourself from talking about your interests too

much, controlling movements, or pretending you understand something when you actually do not.

And honestly, it can be exhausting.

But then there are the safe people.

The people where the mask starts to come off.

These are the people where you do not have to think about every little thing you are doing.

You do not have to rehearse conversations.

You do not have to worry if your reaction is “normal.”

You can just exist.

A safe person is someone who does not judge you for being yourself.

Maybe they do not question why you need quiet time.

Maybe they understand that sometimes you need to talk about the same interest again and again.

Maybe they do not make you feel strange for needing routines or getting overwhelmed.

They just accept you.

For some autistic people, unmasking does not happen instantly.

Trust takes time.

Because if you have spent years feeling like you have to hide parts of yourself, letting someone see the real you can feel vulnerable.

You might wonder:

“Will they still like me if I stop pretending?”

“Will they think I am being difficult?”

“Will they understand?”

Safe people are the ones who show you that you do not have to earn acceptance by being

easier for them.

They see your differences and do not treat them like problems.

They understand that the version of you they see when you are comfortable is not a “worse” version.

It is just a more honest one.

Sometimes unmasking can look like small things.

Being excited without holding back.

Talking about your favourite topic.

Being quiet without feeling guilty.

Stimming without hiding it.

Saying “I do not understand” instead of pretending.

Not having to perform.

And those people are special.

Because in a world where autistic people can spend so much time trying to fit in, having someone who makes you feel safe enough to be yourself is a huge thing.

Everyone deserves people they can be real with.

The people who do not just accept the version of you that the world sees.

The people who accept you.

Love,

Your autistic bestie.