The Cathartic Experience of Seeing Songs You Loved as a Teenager Live in Your Twenties

This week, I saw Marina (formerly Marina and the Diamonds) in concert for the first time. As an avid and frequent concert-goer who has been lucky enough to see almost all of my favourite artists live, Marina had escaped me until Tuesday. I have been listening to her since I was 14. Her first album, The Family Jewels, has always been my favourite; ‘Are You Satisfied?’ is one of my favourite songs ever. Now, after six years as a loyal listener, 20 year old me was able to experience some of these songs live and I was overwhelmed with how emotional I felt. 

I hadn’t expected three songs from her debut album on the tour of her sixth album (her recent stuff is also great, don’t get me wrong, and I had a blast at the concert as a whole) and that was just so exciting. There’s something special about the nostalgia of songs you’ve loved for a long time being performed live in front of you, in a room of people who may have had similar experiences. In lockdown, I remember wanting to expand my music taste, and Marina was one of the three artists I chose to explore – alongside Lorde, who I’ve now seen three times, and Lana Del Rey who I’ve seen twice. I remember sitting on my old bedroom floor listening to her through my wired headphones and being so excited I’d found something new to love. I think it’s a testament to the influence of music on people’s lives: what you listen to as a teenager, in your pivotal years, shape you. When you love it at 20 as much as you did at 14, you know it has a permanent residence within you. Experiencing it live is the ultimate catharsis: everything you felt when you first heard it comes back, and it’s like writing a letter to your younger self. 

I felt it earlier this year too, when I saw Halsey – my favourite artist since I was 12 – live for the first time since I was, coincidentally, 14. She finally returned to the UK for Back to Badlands – the 10 year anniversary tour for her first album. Similarly, I experienced songs live that I never thought I would, songs I had loved for eight years. Usually before a concert I like to revise the setlist to make sure I know all the words, but there was no need. Those lyrics are ingrained in my brain and always will be. 

Lorde has a lyric, “All of the music you loved at sixteen you’ll grow out of.” 

I sang that at what I thought was the best concert of my life at sixteen, until I saw Lorde again this past November. Music is the food for the soul, and I am grounded in the artists that I loved as a teenager, and still love now. Entering your twenties is daunting, but this week I felt like a teenager once more.

Written by, Rosie James