The Insignificant Loves

‘Appy month of love, Earthlings! 

As it is the month of love, it can be dreaded by those who are solo, but that shouldn’t ever translate to people being loved less, as the bible quote goes, in Hugh Grants gorgeous voice, ‘love is all around’. Although marketing is aimed towards romantic couples, that isn’t the only love that exists, love appears in many different forms. 

Especially in an age of future focus, taking in and appreciating the simpler and sometimes insignificant things in life is rarely a priority. We’re quick to showcase and pull all focus on the larger milestones, perfect relationships and career goals. Dare I say, the lure of manifestation is shifting our minds to focus upon what we don’t currently have but ideally want, however realistic or not these ideals are. Whether it is a multi million-pound estate you’re visualising or stable health. Of course, I’m not shaming the practise of manifestation, it does bring you hope and restores determination for plenty within an ever troubled world, never underestimate the comfort of hope!

After all, I forever manifest Lisa Rinna to make a Housewives return, and for my cats to one day river dance whilst harmonising to Beyonce (the Lemonade album preferably).

We’ve all heard the saying ‘live in the moment’, as common as we see ‘live laugh love’ in every kitchen across the country. I’m not advising you to ditch your diaries and planners and never look into the future, that’s an impossible ask, but what I think we could all benefit from is balancing our focus, so we allow ourselves to relax and focussed. Content with the now, as well as future planning. I also understand this can be more difficult depending on your job and current situation, it’s a mental challenge to pull your mind out of a comparison rut into listing the current smaller loves you already have. 

When I talk about the smaller loves, it’s an individual feeling and perspective, it doesn’t have to be a person. This practise is also known as grounding, for any other regular therapy goers alike. It’s whatever you find brings you that warm feeling in your current life or surroundings, you can make a mental note or list them whilst journaling or in your notes app. 

You can spend anywhere between two to five minutes, reflecting upon your small loves, that may seem insignificant to others, about you and your environment. It could be a teaspoon, a blade of grass or even the imperfect chaos of everyday life, like the dried and lifeless flowers still sitting in the murky watered vase, cups of cold tea swanning around the house. If you tend to struggle to focus your mind, you can do it with the five senses, what you see, smell, taste, feel and hear in that current moment? 

Whilst writing this my simple loves are; seeing the band of crows gathered in the leafless tree opposite my window, cat hair dusted over the desk, my cosy over worn fleece, a coaster holding my cold tea which I bought whilst on holiday years ago, the taste of the treasure that is Yorkshire Tea, the gentle hum of my tiny portable heater and the mischievous sound of geese from up the road. 

You can sometimes draw conclusions of your small loves, mine is usually revolved around nature and things that are well loved and hold meaning to me, whether they look aesthetic or not. This helps to know what brings you happiness, that you don’t need to sacrifice your bank account. They are at your fingertips. Great insights to fill more of your days with!

If you want, you can even think wider life and not just your immediate surroundings, things you overheard whilst on the bus, a friend, a message you received… quite literally anything that springs to mind and brings a feeling of warmth. 

A great classic of the experiences of platonic love for you to read this month, which I read in my late teens is ‘Everything I Know About Love’ by Dolly Alderton. Which was also made into a seven part series, still on the BBC iPlayer. This perfectly explains my over arching message of how being single doesn’t mean you are loved less, told through sarcasm, humour and real friendships.

I’m certain throughout this article, nothing what I’ve said is new to you, but take it as a loving reminder to spend a few minutes a day noting the insignificant loves within your life and instead delete your dating app profile which you’re manifesting a connection less boring and cold. 

I’ll leave you with this wonderful parting quote, stuck upon my pin board in front of me. 

“Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking” 

– Marcus Aurelius

Till next time chicks! Jessie Bellamy x