The Neurodivergent World of Driving

Hola besties,  

How has everyone’s 2026 been so far? Mine has been exhausting to say the least, but that is not what we are here for today.  

Today we are going to discuss driving, driving lessons, getting a car, the freedom of it and what that actually means for a neurodivergent.  

Let us start with automatic vs manual. I have done lessons in both, and this may not be the case for all neurodivergent adults but for myself manuals were so hard, I could not concentrate on the clutch, the gears, the road and the path. Everything all at once. Whereas with an automatic it is to put it in drive and focus on driving, not focusing on changing gears but making sure the clutch is down, doing it all without looking at the gears. I am a good driver but I am a good automatic driver, not a manual driver.  

Lessons. I am currently doing my lessons, and I did not realise how hard it would be. Not the driving part. the lesson's part. My instructor is pretty good when it comes to my uniqueness but I have had some that just do not understand.

I understand not everyone understands but I have had some simple be mean, had one who I asked them if they could explain something again. With autism you need something explained hundreds of times before you try to understand. You ask the same question in five different variations. Which led me to be told to listen next time so they did not have to repeat themself.

It was not the fact I was not listening that I asked for them to explain, it was I did not understand. I have found this is the case for a lot of instructors, they do not understand so I become frustrated with the little things like re-explaining.

With lessons comes your theory test. When I tell you this theory test, is the bane of me. I am on my eighth one. Yes you read that, my eighth one. This is because I am an automatic driver and they have manual questions on the test. When I am doing the test there, let's say another twenty people are completing the test, my brain starts focusing on their typing.

I become focused on who is leaving before me and then the questions start, “Am I taking too long?” “Should I be finished by now?” “Am I stupid?” Then I rush and then I fail. 

Once all is said and done and you pass, you now have a license you need a car right? 

I have yet to look or buy a car, but I can imagine it is not easy, it needs to look and be a certain way, the seats can not be scratchy, soft, slippery, the distance between your seat and the passengers has to be just right. Some may say this is picky. I say this is stopping me having a meltdown whenever I get into my own car.  

The funniest part is the freedom of being able to go and do what they want when they want. For most neurodivergent adults, that freedom is the scariest thing, the decisions that surround it, being free to do what you want, when you want. It is not easy for us, it breaks routine, it makes routine harder. And routine makes us thrive.  

Anyone else doing their lessons and are scared of the next steps?  

Does anyone refuse to drive because of their freedom? 

Next week besties is our favourite week, book week! And we will be discussing books becoming films, thoughts and feelings? Do they do them justice? What ones have I watched and do I prefer the book or the film? Find out next week.  

Thank you for tuning in again, our weekly chats are some of my favourites.  

Love,  

Your autistic bestie 

Book of the week: The Housemaid Secret (been going through some health things so it took me a tad longer to finish but we did finish the book we were reading from the ACTOR series!) Woman down Colleen Hoover.