We’re More Comforted by a Feeling of Wonder Than by Facing the Hard Truth

The truth is death is certain. Those announced deaths when you find the person you love the most is going to die. This is the closest to truth that anyone has told you or shown you.

It hurts and hurts transforms- when you inquire into hurt and you look why you’re hurting, it changes you. You know you’re experiencing love and this is why it hurts; otherwise it wouldn’t affect you as much as it does.

Cry, the heartbreak will hurt badly. However, you have to cry, be present and feel. You have to cry. To sit with the emotion, for 90 seconds, then it will pass. Ruminating on the thoughts is what elongates the feeling of the emotions.

Being emotionally intelligent takes a lot of self work and I feel when this is mastered, we will sit with death easier. Emotions are what rule our life basically and how opportunities are presented to us. There are some things along the way that will help reach enlightenment; one of them is a teacher. A teacher is a valuable person in your life that shows you how to navigate lessons. A teacher could be anyone, from your cat to a wise old man. Someone that teaches you a different perspective in life is how to feel more enriched in life. You can never ever stop learning, it’s part of everyday life. 

We are all scared of death but truly, we have no idea what is on the other side. We know the physical side, but we do not know if the other end is full of suffering or full of love. But as you know with love comes pain; otherwise we wouldn’t feel as hard as we do. 

Would you want to die wondering how people would feel about your death? I think when people know how much you truly value them as a person; they use that to their advantage. So it is better off leaving feelings left unsaid when it comes to the truth. I don’t know why it happens but it’s like when you’re left wondering whether the person likes you as much as you like them, you tread lighter and learn to show value to the person a bit more. 

I think we all need to love more, after all it’s one of the first things we’re taught to do. Love and respect, no one deliberately teaches hate unto a child. Love is so powerful, that we build an entire ego and self to combat it. When your heart cracks open you realise your ego dies. You break down your walls. You feel more comfortable. The defensiveness you put there is not as strong. That’s because love is so powerful and it doesn’t go anywhere.

I think I have learned something. If you just speak, you never know how the other person is feeling. If you have ever had the feeling of the universal lump in your throat and think hm should I say this or will they think this? Just do it, just say it because what is the worst that can happen? You feel embarrassed but then they might feel a whole lot better that you feel you can talk like that with them. 

I spoke about my autistic experience as a child with my sister. She didn’t know how much I was afraid of saying some of the things because I felt embarrassed now as an adult. But back then we figured out she was my original safe person. She doesn’t know how much that means to me. For my sister to be my safe space, over my parents. She was agreeable when I spoke to her, and she took it in. So I had nothing to worry about when I thought apprehensively. 

I think the thing is I love my sister for who she is in her entirety. I don’t think there is a person in the world that I will love like that? If you get a partner there will be something you don’t like about them and it probably has something to do with the way they grew up. With your sister I’d like to say I don’t have that issue. We always come back to the same route, I cannot remember life before my sister and we are roughly 4 years apart. 3 year olds consolidate memories right? 

I wrote this part about my sister so you no longer have to wonder about my certainty and love for you. 

I want you guys to leave me a comment to see if this is a universal feeling among us all.

Until next time.

Written by, Lacey Martin