First year.
First year is full of excitement, new people, new starts and your whole childhood world is put behind you.
Maybe for the best or maybe for the worst that's for you to decide when you finish.
Moving to another city or even moving out of your childhood home looks different to everyone.
Some struggle, some thrive and some have the best of both.
First year is full of expectations that I wish someone had warned me about and these expectations don't have to be followed as much as you think you do.
Expectations being...
Being successful, going out, making friends, having your own hobbies, the list goes on.
It's overwhelming and at the end of first year I realised that my university life is essentially what I want it to be.
Everyone can spend time doing exactly everything they want to do and also doing things that look after themself which is something I forgot (so make sure you do).
When I first moved I was very naive even though at the time I didn't think I was, I didn't think about a lot of things so everything was on the surface.
I learnt a lot about myself and how that everyone isn't as quite the same as me.
How can you be shocked at that?
But I had been in a bubble where I was always around people that were only familiar with me but I was used to certain personalities that worked with mine.
Meeting people was a shock to my system not in the aspect of being sociable but in the fact people would have different views and opinions and work in ways I neither agree nor disagree with.
Which opened a lot of old overthinking habits that would frustrate me but help me to learn that I simply cannot control everything around me.
It has been a learning curve as much as it has hurt and put me through a lot.
I would ask everyone to go through it to learn about themself and people 'in the real world'.
Learning my own personality traits and having the insecurities I did all the way through first year made my bonds stronger with people I let into my life and made my world happier.
For so long I wanted to move out and get out of my family home so much I didn't feel connected to the place anymore as it was once a place that made me feel so alone in some ways when I left, I felt ready.
I have a great family and bundle of friends and now have learnt the hard way because going into second year leaving after summer was one of the hardest things I have done.
Due to now it being a place that makes me happy again, having that space away to reflect on my previous years growing up has changed going into my twenties.
I am glad that has been the outcome because I always wanted it to be like that for a long time and makes me never take it granted despite the events that occurred in my teens.
When you get stuck in the university cycle you can slowly lose the things that you enjoy and make you, you.
This isn't being negative about university because it's one of the best things I've done but when you leave old routines things get lost along the way.
You can't beat yourself up about that and I know many people who put those foundations in from the start and my advice will always be to keep up with those whether it be hobbies and home traditions.
One of the main things of being a fresher is making friends, putting yourself out there.
Guess what, it is scary and can be hard if you do not drink (which is ridiculous).
Making groups of friends at university can feel forced but trust the timing.
When I first moved out my flat of eight, went to three in the space of two weeks as they changed their mind.
Leaving myself with one other person, from the situation we were put together and became good friends because of it and luckily for us we ended up in a group with our neighbours.
They also went through similar situations including when we had to move three weeks into the year out of our accommodation.
It can be hard to make friends on your course but sometimes you just have to take the plunge and hope for the best.
If there was one line to sum up university it definitely would be that.
The best thing about your course is that it allows you to meet people hopefully with similar interests and want the same things in the future.
Even though the friends I have now don’t necessarily want to go through the same career path as myself they still have the drive and look to do similar things.
Story time the main line being: kicked out of my accommodation.
I love saying that because people think the worst, like I had done something.
But in reality I walked into my flat to rows of white envelopes breaking the news that ‘due to fire safety issues’ we wouldn't be allowed to live there anymore.
Looking back it was a blessing in disguise because I love where I am now and have lived another year there.
Receiving that letter I was devastated because I didn’t know what to do, where to go and what was going to happen, never mind starting uni in full force.
Being away from home didn’t help and I know a lot of people gave up and moved because of it.
But we found somewhere in the end.
It could have been looked at as a set back and in a way I guess it was but I always looked at it as a redirection.
I wasn’t meant to be there in the end.
Looking back on my course I know I didn’t work as hard as I probably could have because of my own battles but as I have grown I have realised and learnt how to use that as power and not to be ‘so affected by everything’ and getting ‘out of that victim mindset’.
Which is very brave of me to say because at the end of the day I can only change how I see the world.
Every now and then I let myself have moments but I don’t let myself become consumed by them.
I love my course and everything that comes with it and will not take it for granted like I did all the way through first year.
We all have our firsts and we never know how something will feel or be until we do it and it's good to look back and give advice either to yourself or others that will be continuing.
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