Are Your Twenties Allowed to Be Schedulled

It's funny that the human I am right now is like the twentieth (give or take) version of the baby that started. I try to trace back through all the versions and what changed to make the new one pop out at random.

The most recent one is that I love having a routine. I didn't used to, a couple of years ago.

I’m not 29, but spiritually, I fear I am 23 (suckas, I’m not admitting to being 90 just because you think I’m unlike you).

I was undoubtedly an insufferable, recently-twenty-something who wanted to have a life but did absolutely nothing that would contribute to those painfully pinpointed activities. I wanted to be a party animal, but wouldn't even dream of asking my parents to let me out of the house until 2 am because it seemed ridiculous enough in my head as it is. I wanted to be an Instagram person — updating life from a huge group friend hangout, making reels, taking aesthetic pictures or whatever constitutes of — I can't believe I truly used to think this was a thing — having a life. Well, I don't have a huge group of friends, far from it, actually. I rant on Instagram about books, stupid people (mostly every breathing entity, really), and rave about how I might've broken my blender when my mom was out of town. I wanted to stay up drinking or smoking with said friends till the sunrise, dreamt of being the menace child that parents tell their kid not to befriend, even at the direst of times, go on solo vacations (the one thing I still want to do), and so many other things that have been rubbed onto us because you're never going to get your twenties back.

(Insert elaborate throat clearing) Your twenties don't have to look like this. (insert Andy Samberg's gasp) I know!

I had this epiphany midway through the twenty-first year of my existence that most of the movies I grew up with had lied to me epically. Twenties are not the shit. They're just shit. It's a lot of "will they, won't they", but instead of sexual tension between a boy my family would approve of and me (given my past choices, highly impossible), it's just me against my willpower. It felt like I was romanticising the wrong things all along. It took me some time to fall out of that abusive relationship. I swear, it's so difficult to part ways with things and thoughts that have lived as full-fledged fantasies in your mind's eye for a considerable period of time.

But I then went to an entirely strange place to pursue further education, and despite the rare sun, my eyes bloomed open. I understood that glamorising and romanticising your life are two different things. In my knowledge, glamorising life is wanting all the things others might be enjoying, or what you think you should be doing, while romanticising life is falling in love with your life as it is every day. This doesn't make you lethargic, no. It wouldn't satiate your hunger to strive for something greater. But it would definitely provide a nice bed and blanket to fall back upon when you need to quiet the voices in your head.

I fell in love with having boundaries, rules, and a timetable for myself. I loved waking up early, cooking myself great meals, getting ready for class, going to the gym, walking with my thoughts and music, talking to my family, reading, and falling asleep early. I didn't feel like I was missing out on life because I was eating and living healthier than I was at twenty-one years old. I adapted to green tea, cut out coffee and most sugars, started prioritising exercise more, and I learnt to cook delicious, healthy meals for myself. I also learnt to be flexible because, obviously, every day cannot be the same, even if you might want it to be.

Another bone I need to pick with people: rigidity and schedule-following are not always the same. Just because I have a specific set of rules for myself does not mean I would never break them. I enjoy desserts, I miss workouts, I don't drink green tea twice a day, I don't eat the best versions of food at every meal, and sometimes I stay up way too late reading.

I've been dubbed boring because I don't live the way the people around me do. But hey, it works for me, and it works well. All I'm saying is that, sure, while you might not get your twenties back, you don't need to have them back. What's so wrong with how you're spending your twenties right now? If it's keeping you happy, keep doing it. Be open to modifications, but also keep believing in the core parts of your way of living life.

Like every other one of my blog posts, this took a lot of turns, but I think I shared a little piece of wisdom, but if I haven't, then who cares, I'm only twenty-three, what do I know about life's mysterious ways? (wink wink).

Love the way you are, which includes loving doing things your way. Cut yourself some slack, allow yourself to make mistakes, learn from them, and always have a sip of water before you fall asleep.

Ciao, bella! mwah.