Packing Boxes, Carrying a Baby

Dear Diary,

We have officially gotten the keys to our new home! It’s been such a busy week trying to balance all of life’s challenges that seem to keep coming our way, but I’m happy to report I am still here and still hanging on for dear life.

Our new lease began halfway through the month, with our current lease ending at the end of the month. This way, I feel like we have a bit more breathing room to slowly move all of our belongings to our new home without the overwhelming need to get it all done in a short 24 hours. So far , we’ve set up our crib (the emotions that flooded through me in this process were insane and not expected!) and our new dining table. We’ve planned a rough layout of what the baby boy’s room will look like. Since we still have lots of other furniture we need to move, we’ve also decided to use half of that room as my office, seeing as how a baby boy probably won’t really be using the room much in the first few months. It’s so nice having two full size washrooms as well, so we can start setting up all the things that come along with bathing a baby.

In addition to being midway through moving homes, my sister-in-law is also getting married in a year so we’ve been dress shopping all week! I didn’t realize how tired I’d be at 6 months pregnant, or how much my feet would swell while walking around the city in the heat. Along with this comes a wave of guilt that I can’t seem to shake. I’m not sure if it’s just the hormones or the stress, but I’ve been feeling so guilty every day about not feeling productive enough. I feel like I can’t get all the things I want done in the time it used to take me. Even things like finishing the laundry, cleaning the dishes, unpacking boxes, all seem so much harder now. My husband keeps telling me to give myself some grace and take it easy. I am growing a little human… But I can’t help but feel like I’m being dragged behind and I can’t catch up to what my own expectations of myself are. I’ve been feeling more and more anxious about becoming a mom - not because I don’t want to be, but because I’m scared I won’t be good enough.

Is this normal? Does anyone have any advice on how to navigate all these new and heightened emotions? Leave your tips below!

Here’s to hoping next week is less chaotic!

B.