Summer Solitude - How Expectations Don’t Always Meet Reality

I’m a summer baby. I was born in the middle of August, so I’ve always considered it to be my favourite season.

The warmth, no crushing deadlines, time to spend with your family and friends — always something to look forward to.

My summers used to be like that, filled with days out, and opportunities to simply be surrounded by people, which warmed my little ambivert heart.

Of course, my expectations for summer were raised as a result. However, they were brutally crushed last summer. It was the summer after A Levels, the one everyone boasts about. Not to mention it doubled up as the summer I was turning eighteen. A little over three whole months of total and complete freedom. Who wouldn’t be excited?

That summer did not start off on a good tone however, the expected plans with my friends fell apart as quickly as they were made. We had wanted to go to the park near our sixth form, affordable, and a cute way to chill after our last exams, but not all of my friends could make it. 

Wanting all of us to be present when we hung out, it was cancelled, and that sentiment was kept all summer. But of course, life gets in the way. When one person was free, another wasn’t.

I think that’s just a symptom of growing up, at least in some sense. Things get busy, time gets limited.

We still called and everything, a fair few times at least. All contact wasn’t seized, don’t worry.

But it was depressing. It was hard to accept that what I envisioned wasn’t going to happen. To make matters worse, and ironically also near the start of summer, one of my formerly closest and longest standing friendships ended. It wasn't even dramatic or anything. If anything it was anti climatic, which made things worse.

I thought back to the year prior, of one of my favourite days out, a spontaneous hangout that people just piled upon. We went to the arcade, took photos in a photo booth, sat giggling in McDonald’s, trailed through fields, down by a canal, and eventually to a park. The true spirit of summer.

The contrast was certainly a hard pill to swallow.

Still, I kept my glass half full. I thought 2025 may have just been a bump in the road.

So of course it was to my dismay when this summer started to prove it was going to be the same.

In the lead up to summer I would constantly mention to my friends how I wanted to hang out, and how I planned to be ‘outside’ the whole time.I missed my home-town friends deeply, after months of not seeing them in real life, and I really did not want a repeat of the previous summer.

But of course, life still gets in the way. People have jobs and commitments. Aside from that, with less contact, some of my friendships just aren’t as strong as they once were.

Like the last, I’ve spent the majority of this summer in my bedroom.

Some days it gets me down. I mope about what this summer is proving to be. Other times I’m at peace with it. It’s what happens, and my happiness cannot always rely on other people being there.

Maybe my summer is anticlimactic, but I’m grateful I had a good spring, I experienced all of the things I wanted to do in summer, and more.

Regardless, it's only the beginning of July, maybe things will get better, and maybe they won’t, but I’m content.

If this summer isn’t what I had envisioned, at least I know autumn has much more in store for me.

Alls to say is, you’re not alone if your summer isn’t going as expected. You’re not silly for

keeping hope in things.

Like seasons, things change. Sometimes things blossom, other times they fall away. You’re never going to be able to fully predict what happens, but it’s okay to have faith. It’s what keeps me going in times like these, when things get mundane.

Written by, La’Keesha Stewart