Body dysmorphia is something that I never ever realised was a thing till someone pointed it out.
It is such a common thing within women and in men.
And it is crazy to think that our minds can change exactly how we see ourselves and the more we tell it the more it believes.
The illusion in the mirror.
I have been the queen of going on lots of different diets, working out to excess, bad eating behaviours and relationships with food.
There's a point where it is just exhausting.
It’s exhausting to constantly be thinking about food all the time.
Like a food monologue in my head everyday.
A reminder to you that there is more to you than your shell.
That is easier said than done because when you’re looking in that mirror, when you put those clothes on nothing else matters apart from all the thoughts in your head.
There's no escaping.
It doesn’t matter what anyone says, it does not change how you view yourself.
Sometimes it is not even the fact of caring about what other people think.
The feeling of being your own skin and not being comfortable inside your own skin.
Knowing that whatever you do, your relationship with your body will never change.
Always looking back at old photos.
I used to hate being in my skin even at my thinnest, being put in a toxic cycle.
Why can’t we be just comfortable in the moment?
We are exposed to glamour models and influencers all the time.
We spend most of our life as women and men looking at others more than we actually do at looking at real people.
How crazy is that?
There is no cure for body dysmorphia.
Trying to fix these thoughts could take up to years or could change overnight if you’re some sort of superhero.
The ideal body that we are always trying to seek is a spiral of body dysmorphia.
Because you are constantly chasing the next thing of what can I make better?
What part can I make more attractive?
It doesn’t always mean that everything on the inside is healthy because there’s people walking around with empty bellies and foods with chemicals that aren't good for us.
Doing drastic diets are ruining our insides, all because we can’t see exactly what we see in our phones.
Being comfortable in your body can come as you get older.
When we go from a child's body to an adult it is a very frightening experience.
It is a scary experience because our body is changing and we think that we should sustain our teenage body we used to have.
We were never supposed to sustain that body because we were children.
We are not children anymore.
We are adults growing up to have babies and we are all going to face different things in life.
And let's not forget different types of exercise creates different bodies.
Bodybuilders out there, runners, swimmers and more.
Even with the knowledge of that we still can’t accept ourselves.
Having that balance of caring about ourselves in a way where we are looking after ourselves but then also not taking it too far.
We should be more kind to ourselves and not get too wrapped up in our shell because if you look around you the people that love you and enjoy your company aren’t bothered what you look like.
They don’t care even what clothes you wear, what your body shape is or what colour hair you have.
Whether you’ve got stretch marks or tattoos whatever that is, they don’t care.
They take you for exactly who you are and that’s something I always think about.
If I’ve got bigger, if I’ve got smaller the people within those times and the people they are still around.
I think any time I’ve been my smallest and I have never been so unhappy.
I was always tinier when I was sad, when I lost.
When I didn’t know who I was.
All those times of sadness and upset all equaled being smaller.
So if I am happy and the number changes on the scale, so be it.
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