First love

Your first love is a strange one. 

For some reason, this has always been a hard one for a lot of people, especially for myself.

I’ve always avoided writing about my first love purely because of how complicated, deep and intense the feelings I have towards that part of my life which is completely normal.

It's a part I always long to have back but then I wouldn't want to ever again.

Very bittersweet. 

Falling in love for the first time is something that comes so off guard and you don't realise until something just clicks and you realise oh I am in love. 

The first person you end up in a relationship with doesn't necessarily mean they are your first love, it can be anyone at any point in life. 

My first love wasn't my first boyfriend I thought it was until I realised it was who I met after. 

Controversial question is love at first sight real?

Yes, for some it is.

This can happen over and over till they find the one.

When you start loving someone you don't picture yourself with anyone else. 

When you depart from that first love it changes your views and relationships over time because you learn from what worked and what didn't, just like anything. 

It changes you, whether you realise it or not. 

Sometimes there's always one that will stick to old habits (but that's for the next person to deal with now). 

You end up a little more cautious than you were the first time and can be picky too!

I think your first love is one of the scariest forms of love. 

They always say you’ll never forget your first love.

And it's true you don’t forget your first love.

For many reasons because when you look back you realise it’s the first person that you ever let into everything without them even knowing that they’ve done that.

There are walls that come down and parts of yourself let go. 

And even without you knowing that you’ve let them into parts of you, you never thought you would ever show to anyone because you didn’t know you had those parts of you too.

Your first love always teaches you a lot about yourself, about people and it’s something that I wish people never had to go through, but we all have to have a first. 

I always dread when my friends get into their first relationship and I think oh my but your reaction doesn't always have to be like that because it went a little wrong last time.

Half of the time in the relationship both of you don't know what is right or wrong or even what to do, it's a learning curve for two people which can be intense.

The word intense feels like it has a bad connotation but when I mean intense, it describes the feeling of someone being your whole world and for me it was my whole entire world. 

To think that first loves are taken lightly to a lot of people blows my mind. 

We all should take care and realise how amazing it is to have that sort of love.

And even though it is so devastating when you do end (if you are lucky enough to be together still yay!) it’s not a bad thing to open yourself up but to remember that some people do come into your life for certain lessons for certain reasons. 

It’s okay for them to reflect the rest of your relationships, friendship, family, life, and how you are. 

I view the world so differently because of him, because of what I learnt from him and the things that we did together. 

You will long to have that back but to know that at that time, it wasn’t right and they weren't for you as much as you wanted them to be. 

I always wondered if there is an after, after my first love. 

And the answer to that is yes!

There will be because we all deserve love.

When it does come it will be uncontrollable to stop and will come with no questions or wondering just answers.