Having anxiety is one of the loneliest feelings I think anyone can encounter.
I think at first we never know what anxiety is when I grow up, I know for sure I didn't.
When we feel anxious or have an anxiety attack we just think there’s something wrong with us or there’s something wrong happening at that moment in time.
When really probably nothing bad is actually happening.
We are actually safe.
Being alone battling anxiety is so hard.
It’s just you against you.
As much as you don’t want to have those feelings you try to suppress it essentially making it worse.
You can feel silly because you think "well it’s actually up to me to sort this out" because you feel you are the thing that is creating this.
But for some reason you can’t stop it from happening.
It can come when you least expect it and it is uncontrollable.
I don’t think anyone fully understands what anxiety is unless they have been through it yourself.
It is good to go and seek advice from professionals but sometimes it doesn't quite cut it.
You want people around you that get it which is always so important that even though they might not be on the same level as you it is good to be open about it.
Some people think it’s a made up thing and that we have created it in our own head but I think that is a generational factor.
But when you’re the person that is walking down the street and suddenly out of nowhere you feel like there is rope wrapped around your chest and you feel like you can’t breathe.
Or you are laid in bed at night thinking about all the things you’ve got to do tomorrow.
Walking into places and imagining how something goes before it even happens.
Feeling of emptiness or the next extreme panic.
There’s so many different spectrums of anxiety and people have different levels.
Some people have it far worse than others and people have it a lot easier but each person is valid.
They have anxiety no matter how bad or how easy it might be.
Some people have body changes because of anxiety like skin disorders, stomach issues and migraines.
There are so many things that our bodies do when they are put under so much anxiety and stress.
When you can’t see anxiety and people don’t have physical symptoms it can be difficult for people to take that seriously.
They just can’t understand how even if you fake it all day, how could you ever be feeling bad?
And who's to say that isn't real, right?
To think that people a lot nowadays kindly just use anxiety as an excuse for reasons why they can’t do certain things can make the people who are really struggling feel embarrassed and less open.
They feel like they’ve got a stigma hovering over them and a label.
Anxiety is always a thing that I never realised until when I got into my 20's.
Since I moved out I realised how much of an anxious person I am.
I never said I was someone who had anxiety because I felt like I didn’t have the personality to have anxiety which is a crazy concept because I give the impression that I am extroverted and confident.
That I do whatever and I’m happy, all these things but really they were coping mechanisms to cover how anxious I am.
To create this facade to everyone so no one can draw their attention to me.
I never realised these behaviors of me being anxious and when I left situations that’s when the anxiety hit.
When I walk away I will be like "oh my God who was that" because it’s how I cope with it.
There have been many times where my anxiety takes over and I sleep a lot more or indulge.
I’ve tried different things to help myself and there are times where nothing can be enough and that is okay.
Having an understanding that doing whatever you need to do to get through the day is more important than trying to put a show on for everyone.
To be this person in your head that you think you should be like.
There’s some days where I just try to get through the day and to know that I’ll be in my house, safe in my room to do whatever I know so that then I can deal with my struggles.
I can just recuperate and sort myself out on my own.
That is where I don't know if I am different with my anxiety with being on my own.
Some like to be around people and I sure do but I like to have my alone time.
These questions would be answered easily if we normalised the fact that there are people out there that can be anxious.
There are people out there that are fighting anxiety every single day and have to do things to cope whatever that may look like.
It doesn’t have to look like the next person and it doesn’t mean that yours isn’t valid enough either.
Because you are important and number one: you are not what your anxiety is.
Even though it may feel like a big part of you, that is the trick it tricking you like it does.
You're not the things that control your mind and you aren’t the things that you struggle with.
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