Now this one is easier said than done and it is not easy to change your mindset.
I know this for a fact.
It is so difficult to get yourself out of that dark place.
It is easier to make better conscious choices when you’re in a better place.
To get yourself out of that place where it is negative, dark and lonely it is claustrophobic.
Nothing you see is right, there'll be no change.
There'll never be anything that could make this feeling right now better but a hundred percent of that is tricking your mind.
I spent way too much time in my teens dwelling on those things and wondering why those things happened.
Those things that happened were completely out of my control.
They weren’t things that I caused.
They were just things that happen in life and unfortunately those things happened earlier than I ever anticipated.
I always wish that I could go back and tell myself not to dwell on those things and not waste time.
Now I won’t do that.
I think I had to waste my time wishing my life away to really understand that now I’m not going to do that.
I’m not gonna wait another minute and that is a good example of how my mindset has changed over the years.
I never sat down and thought that I’m going to be like this.
It took years of telling myself little mantras of certain things and a lot of my friends always get really confused and say how do you do it?
How do you get through all this?
And you seem absolutely fine and yeah maybe when I’m telling them at the time things are going off that I am okay, I look fine and happy.
I have my moments when I’m on my own, but I’m very much dealing on my own.
Part of myself is that I won’t divulge too much at that moment in time and end up talking a couple days later because I wanna figure out how I’m gonna get through it.
I feel my most vulnerable when I’m at the start of that process so the last thing I want to do is approach someone and tell them what is going on or tell them how I’m feeling.
Some people might think that isn't healthy.
But it has always worked for me because I felt like I’ve had no regrets in doing that.
It is when I feel most in control.
I struggle with being too controlling with my life but then at the same time I have to keep sitting in control with my emotions to make me feel okay.
Growing up as a teenager I thought it would get easier going into my 20s thinking yeah this is gonna be great.
I won’t have to deal with loss, body dysmorphia and my anxieties but really they’ve only just multiplied over the years.
That is never the case, the struggles just look different.
It is not that I didn't care about those things before, priorities and feelings change as we grow.
By telling myself certain things it helps my mindset and it changes my mindset because I’m telling myself for almost it to be true.
Let's trick those little thoughts.
For example if someone decides not to be in my life anymore in previous years I would’ve gone back and said it is to do with how I look, I am not good enough but now I look at it as we’re not meant to be.
"I don’t want anything that doesn’t want me."
That should be an insult that they don’t want me in their life.
There are some days, less than often that I do feel those insecurities like everyone else does.
But I don’t feel them half as bad as I used to.
It is almost changing the narrative of certain things to almost suit me.
That could be quite delusional thinking but aren't we all just trying to be happy.
That I am not really seeing things for what they are and which I make sure that I do but also do things in comfort of making myself feel better.
Something I always say is do whatever you need to get you through the day.
Little differences every day and checking in with yourself every time something happens and seeing how different you can look at it to be a quicker fix than we think.
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