Summer. Personally, it is not my favourite season of the year, for many reasons. It's all sea, sun, sand and don't forget cocktails. But as I have grown up I've started to learn to love it because at the end of the day it's part of life I am going to encounter every year.
My first lesson is still a work in progress which is body confidence. Body confidence is the first alarm. Where my brain realises hot weather only means less layers and less layers means shorts, dresses, skirts and crop tops. Everything reminds me of all the times I didn't go to the gym, didn't try that new diet or all the times I ate out. Why do we do this? Why live in regret when we had fun trying that new burger place, celebrating when you got that new job or when your friend had a birthday? I bet you don't regret that? So why beat yourself up? That's all we've known is to be annoyed at ourselves for what we eat or drink because why should you be happy and do both. It's a toxic cycle many people fight, some worse than others.
Having time to think it over I've thought it's okay to regret maybe not doing that exercise that I wanted to do. What matters is wearing stuff that makes me feel good and I like and not force myself to fit into some shorts just because the sun decided to come out for a change. I have my days where I wish I could wear the odd thing that's in my head that I don't think I can but in reality it's about the memories we make in the sun. Not if our stretch marks peek through our dress. Every year we all battle the same anxiety of a new season of sun but if we all take it easy and are kind to our minds it might just make it a little easier than usual. This lesson from summer hasn't cured my body dysmorphia but telling myself these things and seeing more people saying it helps me believe it too.
My second lesson is being at peace. Coming home from university it went from 100 to 0 really quick. I found it hard to settle. I couldn't do anything without thinking about another 1000 things I should be doing, people I should be seeing, the list goes on. For some reason I kept putting pressure on myself to be busy when it's summer break? It's a time to have fun and do whatever I like! But most of all to chill out. I didn't realise how much of a break I really needed to only focus on doing nothing. To dive into things I used to love to do in my spare time that got lost along the way.
Going back to the idea of 'being at peace' for myself it has been reading lots, painting and back to creating content for this blog and YouTube. Jumping back into these things it has put me back into a rested headspace, to a good place mentally taking time out. There is so much satisfaction that comes with finishing that book and creating that content I am passionate about. Finding things, even the small things, that make our heart full create peace in your own space.
My third lesson is social media. Myself and social media have a love hate relationship. Some days I want to post loads of photos of what I love and the people I love. Next I want to delete everything where everyone knows nothing about me. In this generation everyone feels like we are obliged to share everything and make our interests known to fit in. I think using my phone and social media together, I have tried to stop having it stuck to my hand like it's a part of me.
For numerous reasons, first it's not real, nothing on there is real, second I don't want to waste my time on it and third most of the time if I am not talking to my friends I don't feel great afterwards.
Social media gives expectations as to what summer should look like but really summer is whatever you want it to be, why put pressure on your life to look fun, if really it doesn't feel like it. The best moments are not behind a camera or uploaded to Instagram. I have been using it to contact important people and not fall into the trap that I have in the past of creating a life there that isn't 100% true. More so because it doesn't benefit me as much as it benefits you.
My fourth and final lesson is family and friends. A random one but I think one of the most important ones. Coming home after being away for so long makes you realise a lot. The important people in your life that have impact. I'm not saying seeing people everyday and big gestures give impact. It's those day trips, chit chats with a cup of tea and voice notes saying they can't wait to see you next. These things mean the most.
Being so far away opens your eyes up to who is waiting for you at the other end and has made me grateful to have people like that in my life. On the other hand coming back home I've left new people behind who make me excited everyday to go back and carry on doing life with for the next two years I have at university. Having and meeting these new people has made it all the more special for the future.
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