Validation, sigh.
One of the worst things to have to feel.
To feel like you need to be recognised, to be noticed constantly.
We all want to feel important.
An expectation to live up to.
95% of the people we seek it from are the people that don't care.
They have no relevance in our lives or even theirs.
Why do we do this?
Could it be a lack of self confidence?
How we have been brought up?
Who knows?
I could sit here for hours figuring it out but I couldn't give you an answer or a cure.
It is all a mindset.
Which we can say for anything, how we view yourself, how we view the world and our reactions to things.
First thing being social media.
We love to boost our egos and by doing that we need people.
In our generation social media influences a mass of things and we don't even realise how much of an impact it has on our lives and how our brains work even to the point it now brainwashes us to think we aren't good enough and seek validation from others to fulfill this need.
It can be hard to realise that it is doing this to yourself.
Posting for attention for people to compliment you or show people what you are doing to fit in.
Now not everyone does this for validation at all but quite a lot do and it is good to recognise why we do things to help us.
When you are wrapped up in it all, we don't realise how much we are putting out there to make us feel better.
Validation isn't always on a screen, it can be our behavior towards people.
Like changing how we act to attract attention.
And as men and women we seek validation from each other making us look a certain way for men or women.
To fit in and live up to expectations we put up for ourselves only to project on others creating this cycle.
This can involve what we wear, our aesthetic, the types of places we go to and the people we hang around with creating a picture of who you are.
When really it isn't the full depths of you from the inside.
A pattern that I have noticed is that we seek validation from the people we don't know the most.
Because the people we do know and that know us inside and out, we don't have to put a show on and can be are real around.
I find it interesting when we are so consumed on the outer shell of others and ourselves that actually the people that matter we don't have this need to love or want to be put on a pedestal for.
When we try to adapt to others we want validation in more ways than others.
We suddenly start to like things we didn't before or go places we wouldn't normally go to.
You are like a chameleon right?
Adapting to others to "fit in".
This creates a loophole of losing yourself whether you want to admit or realise it.
It is not a nice feeling, I can assure.
This does not mean that the people around you are bad people for making you feel like this, it is because they are not for you and that's okay.
It might feel like the end of the world but who wants to feel lonelier than before around people that aren't for them.
Relating these habits and not delving into them as much as we do will fulfill us more than we know.
I would love to take all these horrible feelings of self doubt, over analysing and over thinking from anyone.
For a lot of people it is validation but they don't realise it because it looks different to everyone.
We have to take our own power from within and not consume our self worth from other people.
Because to be honest they don't care so why should you take that on?
It is easier said than done but with time it can feel better.
And for the first time it will work out better for us and not everyone else for a change.
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