Now another line that people will probably say obviously you want someone who wants you but I tell you now they’ll be a hell of a lot of people out there that go for something that doesn’t want them.
This can be disguised in narcissistic behaviours and not being aware of how someone is treating you.
There’s many arguments to be hard with someone wanting you because first of all not many people sometimes realise, especially romantic relationships when someone doesn’t want them.
When they feel like they aren’t validated or seen by their partner they end up holding on more stronger.
They cling on tighter with every reason.
We have all done it.
When we feel like someone isn’t as invested we try and pull out the next best thing and we want make sure that we look better, that we act better and we do better.
That is part of being a human, we feel that we have to impress the people that we love and that is absolutely fair.
By doing that forcing that pressure of wanting someone to want you in their space, time, anything like that you can push them away and that’s not your fault.
It’s them not communicating to you that they don’t want you and it’s not that you are doing anything wrong.
It’s just how sometimes the universe goes.
Now people will hate that answer, but I think it links in with the fact that not everyone is around forever and that we have to take the moments we have as they come because we can be relationships and we can be the happiest we think we’ve ever been.
Then maybe after a couple years it ends.
I think we focus on too much trying to make things work when we know full well they aren’t working.
When you know the connection isn’t quite how it used to be and instead of just settling for what we should.
To understand that really we don't want each other as much as we thought in the first place but we had amazing times and I think that’s a great way to think of it like that.
It takes a lot of time to get to that point because initial break ups we go into to self-destruct we start picking apart everything about how we look and about how we are.
Even if we don’t think we’re doing it because when you give so much to someone you feel like you’ve gave them everything and when that’s taken away for some you can’t really decipher who you are.
I don’t know a single person who has come out of a break up and has felt absolutely amazing the next day.
You eventually do after a break up because you realise a lot and you have a lot of time to reflect on it and you have to understand that your peace is more important than understanding why something happened.
Some people don’t get an answer when something ends and it’s a really gut wrenching feeling because everyone wants an answer to why something didn’t work.
I think that understanding that when these people aren’t in our lives anymore that we want to have something exactly that wants us.
Instead of going back to narcissistic behaviours.
When someone is in a relationship they can act a certain way to please you but in reality they have no intention to want you.
Which is very difficult because if you haven’t been around someone like that and you will think to genuinely good intentions.
You will not recognise behaviours but as someone who comes out of relationship you do realise when certain behaviours aren’t right.
Even though at the time you thought there was good intentions but in reality there isn't and it’s hard to see that when you’re in a relationship because you love them.
And essentially that is why you’re in a relationship because you love them and you care for them.
Why wouldn’t you?
When you obviously see from that point of your relationship you start to depict these behaviours and realise that one you wasn’t being treated right and two that person didn’t have genuine intentions of wanting you.
I think as well there’s a massive concept of people keeping certain people around because either for ego purposes or they want someone to not leave them so they aren’t lonely.
When the next thing comes round is what they thinks better they will just go after that leaving you.
I think it is a really important thing that is whoever is in your life whether that is friends or family you have to make sure that you are wanted.
Who wants to be surrounded by friends who don’t care about what you are doing, your well-being and or even care that you’re there.
That you’re just a number or you’re just another person in the background.
No one wants to feel like that.
That’s one of the worst feelings because who wants to spend their valuable time with people who don’t see the value in you.
It’s hard because when you first meet people because you don’t know their full intentions
I think overtime you do learn if it is going both ways and that person is essentially right to be in your life because they are pulling their weight, they are being the person that you need them to be and you’re doing exactly the same.
As a person who really struggles with rejection and people leaving, I countless times always say to myself I only want what wants me.
I haven’t got the mental strength to beat myself up as to why that person doesn’t want to be my friend anymore, why that person treat me like that, or why did that boy drop me like a ton of bricks and I don’t wanna make excuses for them.
I don’t wanna make excuses for myself other than the fact that I want what wants me because I know my value.
The people that I already have in my life are so special and so valuable to my life, I think well the people that have it at the end of the day are people of true intention.
I’ve never been left with someone who makes me feel like they don’t want me around and I hope that you all get to experience that.
Don’t ever worry if it takes time to find people who want you because you are just as important as everyone else they just aren’t the right people for you.
You don’t have to understand why someone doesn’t want you but you need to know that you are wanted.
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