Losing people in your life can be hard and to decipher between how we feel or once felt is even harder.
Losing someone in grief or choosing to lose someone is never as easy as each other.
I’ve always found it very hard in both ways.
And found it hard to talk about people that aren’t in my life anymore.
My first example being an ex lover, I never like to talk about someone who I have previously been with or shared romantic love with.
I’ve felt that people will think that I’m still in love with them or still have feelings for them.
But in hindsight, I just wanted to bring them up because I felt like it was relevant to the conversation.
It’s not particularly that I want to talk about them but at the end of the day for years they were part of my life and I shared a lot of my time, places and memories with them.
We can’t just erase them just because it didn’t work out.
We have chosen them to not be in our life anymore and that doesn’t mean that we have to erase them completely.
Like I have always said, I don't like to think of things as a waste of time.
They can still have living memories but only in the past, not living in the present.
We shouldn’t have to even feel the judgment of others even if things have ended badly.
It shouldn’t be a shock factor.
I think it’s healthy to still talk about certain people in our life because it shows that we are comfortable with our past.
Not a lot of people are comfortable with the past because something that we can never change.
Things that we can’t change and can’t control can be scary and frustrating for a lot of people.
My second example is losing someone forever to the imaginative place that who knows we all go to eventually.
I’ve always felt like speaking about grandparents after losing them being a sore subject.
Saying "be careful we don’t want to upset them".
"Be careful they might not be strong enough to talk about them".
Tip toeing around.
For a confused teenager it can hurt.
Having to be sensitive to others when really I wasn’t being sensitive to myself.
I wasn’t talking about the people that I loved so much and I looked up to all of my childhood and I felt almost those memories disappear.
It felt like at the time but as I’ve got older I’ve become more open to talking about my previous grandfathers because they were huge part of my life.
I remind myself of the amazing things that are happening and almost thinking about them along with it, it keeps my memory of them alive.
It reminds me of sometimes what I’m doing and who I’m actually here for still because the less I speak about them the less present I feel like they are my life.
I want them to be foundations of how I am and how I think because as I was growing up into a young lady they were the people that helped.
Creating the person who I am and my little personality.
If you are someone who feels almost claustrophobic in your own mind because you feel like the people that meant a lot to are not around as much as they were before, it’s okay to have a little chat about them and bring them up.
And it's almost fine that everyone grieves in different ways, some can shut it off and can be absolutely fine but don’t jeopardise your own peace.
Fulfill those memories and carry them on and almost make people feel envy they didn’t get to have that person in their little universe.
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